The Last Holiday
by FlubFlub
Summary: Bella Swan gets one last week to make things right with her family over the holidays. Will she be able to do it? Or will her choice three years ago stand in her way?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! I had an idea in my head so I decided to type it up to get myself into the *somewhat* holiday spirit! Hope you like, please leave comments/ suggestions on your way out. This story will be ****loosely**** based on the movie **_**Last Holiday **_**starring Queen Latifah, I can't take credit for the whole idea.**

**I will be updating more than once a day, and hope to have the whole thing completed in the next few days…**

**I asked Santa for Twilight this year, maybe I'll get lucky :) but until then, Stephanie Meyer owns it all.**

"Bella," I can barely hear the muffled voice calling my name. "Bella!" the voice sounds more impatient. "Oh, Bella!" the voice is getting louder and I internally cringe. Whoever's calling me really needs to shut the hell up. I'm too comfy to move and they're really cramping my style.

I try and open my eyes to give this person a piece of my mind, but it's harder to do so than I remember it being this morning. _This morning?_ This morning already happened, why the hell am I asleep?

"Guys! She's moving!" the voice squeals. The voice is finally clear and a normal volume, so I can finally identify the person as a woman. Victoria Hunter to be exact. My best friend and the annoyingly chipper intern who makes me want to stab her with a stick on Monday mornings. _Oh yeah, I'm not definitely a morning person_.

I feel my head being prodded and lifted by someone's hands, and I shriek when their pointed nails hit a particular spot on the back of my head. My eyes fly open, and I become aware of the ten or so people all standing above me with concerned looks on their faces.

"Oh, thank god!" Victoria weeps and pulls me to her chest. I grimace as my face gets shoved between her cleavage in her 'hug' and try to pull away. I glare at the crowd of secretaries and they all visibly relax. _Why are they all watching me?_ Shit, did I fall asleep on the copy-machine again?

"I called 911," a breathless Jessica pants as she comes into view above me next to Mike. "The ambulance is one their way." She looks me up and down and smiles apologetically.

My vision blurs slightly before refocusing, but the world seems to be a bit fuzzier than it was a few seconds ago. Finally Jessica's words process and I look around in confusion. "Ambulance?" my tongue feels heavy, and I doubt if anyone even understood what I just said. _What the fuck happened to me?_

I do a mental assessment and notice the dull throbbing in my head. I lift my hand up slowly to run it through my hair, but stop when it comes close enough to my face for me to see it. _Why is everything so… stiff?_ I wiggle my fingers and wrinkle my forehead at the slight pain I feel.

"Bella, are you alright?" Victoria asks slowly in between pops of gum.

"Wh-" I cringe at the scratchy feeling in my throat. "What happened?" I croaked. Victoria glances over to Mrs. Cope and raises an eyebrow.

"She asked what happened." Cope murmurs slowly, almost as if she's afraid to speak too loudly. She turns her beady eyes to mine and I wince. _She always has been a bit creepy_. "You tripped on the ficus on your way to the copy room." She tells me in a soothing voice. I've always hated that damn tree. I rub my head and grimace when I feel a slight tender spot. "You hit the corner of Mike's desk and passed out. You've been unconscious for over ten minutes."

Well shit. I try to push myself up, but Victoria lays her acrylic-nailed hand on my chest and pushes me back down. "Relax, Bella." She soothes. "Just wait until the EMT's get here." She intentionally strokes my boob and I punch her arm as hard as I can in my state of incoherent-ness.

"Stop trying to take advantage of me, woman." I croak. "I'm not sleeping with you!" Victoria smirks and gives my tit one last rub before withdrawing her hand.

"A girl can always try." She smiles innocently at me and I can't help the small chuckle that escapes me.

"Girl on girl." Mike mutters. "Hot." He nods his head t me, receiving a smack from his girl-friend.

"Jesus Mike," Jessica mutters and glares at him. "Would you think with your head for ten seconds?"

"Babe," he argues. "I was thinking with my head."

"The one on top of your shoulders." She hisses and crosses her arms. She shoots him one last glare that clearly said 'no sex for a month' and storms over to the window of the office overlooking downtown Seattle. "Hey," she calls, "Ambulance is here."

"That was fast," Vic comments and gets up from her kneeling position beside me.

"Vic, I'm fine." I whine and start to sit up. She gives me a menacing look and I slowly lower myself back down.

"You most certainly are not _fine_, Bella." She demands, even going so far as to stomp her foot like an eight year old trying to buy a ticket at a sold out Justin Beiber concert. Hehe. See, even when I'm injured I still have my humor. "You are going to the hospital to be looked at. I refuse to let you die. Who would make fun of Bolton with me?" She raises her eyebrows, referring to our many jokes about our boss, Mr. Michael Bolton. No affiliation to the singer/songwriter. Man, we give him so much shit about his name.

"Where is old man Bolton anyway?" I ask, slightly perturbed he doesn't even have the decency to check if his favorite journalist is bleeding out in his hallway.

"Eh, he got held up at court." She shrugs in a 'what else is new' manner. "His ex wanted more money or something."

The elevator to our floor dings and two guys in light green scrubs step out of the elevator. A third woman with bright red hair follows them out pushing a stretcher in front of her. My eyes widen when I see the offending bed-on-wheels and I look it over in contempt.

"Hehe." Victoria chuckles and I glare up at her.

"Somthin' funny bitch?" I hiss.

"Look at that chick." She whispers and crouches down next to me, pointing to the female EMT in the pink scrubs. "Five bucks says she's a fire crotch."

I roll my eyes and nudge her with my elbow. "Her hair is clearly dyed," I argue, indulging in another of our games we made up to pass time in the office on boring days. Guess what color pubes people have. "Five bucks says she's not. And how will you even check?"

"I have my ways." She gets an evil glint in her eye. "Oh, and you're on. That shit's real as mine." She fluffs her curly mane of red hair. We shake and she stands up just as the two scrub clad men reach us. I raise my eyebrow as I sit up fully until I'm face to face with the EMT's… um…. Doc number one's genitalia is dangling awfully close to my face. _Jeeze, they don't make scrubs as thick as they used to_.

"Mrs. Swan?" Doc number one waves a hand in front of my face and my eyes snap up, away from his crotch.

I clear my throat and he smiles. _Shit, he totally knew I was checking out his package_. I internally curse myself and give him an apologetic smile. "Yes?" at least my voice sounds somewhat normal now.

"Can you tell me your full name?" he asks and pushes his jet black hair out of his face as she grabs a clipboard off the stretcher.

"Bella Swan." I tell him. The woman crouches beside me and gently pulls on my arm. After a few seconds, I realize she wants me to stand up. _Jeeze lady, use your words_. If I was a paranoid person, I might have thought you were stealing my arm to sell on the black market.

Victoria snorts beside me and the female EMT cracks a smile. _Shit, I said that out loud?_ "Yes you did." Vic laughs and smacks my ass when I'm in a fully standing position. I swat at her hand and have to steady myself on fire-crotch so I don't tip over. I glare at her as Doc number two grabs my other arm and they lead me over to sit on the stretcher.

"Okay Bella Swan," Doc number one starts checking things off on his clipboard. "We'll be taking you down to Seattle Medical," he peeks over his board to me and continues. "Do you have insurance?"

"Um," I blush. "Not at the moment, no." Fucking Bolton won't give it to us until after two months of service to the magazine.

"Okay, no problem." He sets his clipboard down next to me and pushes me back into a lying position.

"Oh, so _he's_ allowed to fondle your tits?" Vic smirks and Doc number one blushes. I don't know when she'll understand that I don't want to have sex with her. Hell, I'm as straight as Batman planking on the bat-mobile.

Doc number one leans over me to adjust something on the stretcher and his chest comes into view. I try not to stare, but his nametag catches my eye. _Alec Volturi_. I wonder if he's related to Aro. We do a lot of business with their photographers. _Volturi photography-_ creative right?

"Okay, just hold still," Alec warns me and starts to push the stretcher toward the elevator. Doc number two and fire-crotch whose names I haven't yet caught follow us. Before the doors slide shut I give my spectators a small unenthusiastic wave, silently cursing Jessica for calling fucking 911. Isn't that supposed to be for people who really need it?

"How are you feeling Mrs. Swan?" Red-head steps beside me and lays hew hand on my forehead. "We can't really check you out until we get to the van." She apologizes. I shake my head and glance at her nametag. _Heidi Boon_.

"I'm fine. I felt a little off when I woke up, but I seem to be getting better." I try to sound enthusiastic thinking maybe they'll let me go early if I act like a normal uninjured person.

"That's good." She smiles and retracts her hand. "The doctor will want to take a few x-rays just to make sure you don't have a concussion." I raise my eyebrow at her, concerned. She catches my look and back-tracks. "Just to be on the safe-side, dear." I nod in understanding and stare at the shiny elevator doors as that stupid fucking music tinkles in the background through the buildings' low-budget speakers. I swear I want to hack the system and play some hard-core shit- some Metallica, or Nirvana. It's not like Bolton would even hear it; he keeps his hearing aids out for ninety percent of the day.

The doors ding open and Heidi pushes me out through the lobby and out the double doors of the building. I blush and concentrate on my breathing as I feel hundreds of eyes following me as I'm wheeled toward an ambulance illegally parked half-way on the sidewalk. A teenage boy in loose fitting running clothes snickers and bumps into the stretcher, purposefully jostling me from side to side. I settle myself and narrow my eyes while grabbing onto the back of his baggy basketball shorts. I hold onto them as he walks away, and laugh when he topples down onto the sidewalk, just barely catching himself before his ugly little mug can get smeared on the sidewalk. His pants are pooled around his ankles and I giggle to myself as he scrambles to pull them up as the crowds of New Yorkers swerve around him, chuckling as they pass.

"Mrs. Swan, it's a good thing you're injured." Doc number two mumbles and pulls open the double doors of the ambulance. They push me in backwards and I attempt to cover my face in embarrassment as people walk by with their mouths hanging open and camera-phones at the ready. Heidi mumbles something about 'people need to get lives' and gives the stretcher a final shove.

I feel the stretcher give, and suddenly I'm in the back of the van. There are no windows in the ambulance and I start to feel a bit claustrophobic being smooshed in like a sardine. I really start to panic when doc number two and Heidi join me in the back on either side and slam the doors shut. The engine starts up, and we start rolling. I can feel my face pale, and I focus on my breathing.

"You okay?" Doc two asks. I nod and glance at his nametag. _Chandler_. Huh, no last name. I close my eyes and pretend I'm in a big open field, not enjoying the tightness or sweatiness in the cab despite the below freezing temperature.

"Just a bit tight in here, no?" I squeak out nervously. Heidi snorts and nods her head in agreement.

"Try doing this for a living." She grumbles unhappily. "How are you, besides that?"

"Fine," I roll my eyes. "This whole ordeal is completely unnecessary."

She holds up her hands in surrender. "It's not our job to decide that. We got a call from a very distressed woman and made it here as fast as we could."

"Yeah," Chandler jumps in, "The way she was acting made us think you were on your deathbed or something." He laughs and punches my arm playfully. _Um, hello! That fucking hurt!_ I decide then that I don't like Mr. Chandler. I glare at him and rub my arm soothingly.

"Jess can be a bit…" I pause, thinking for the right word. Fanatical? Bat-shit? Psychotic? "Dramatic." I settle for the least offensive term. Hey, if I am on my deathbed, I want to leave big guy upstairs with a good impression. Maybe he'll overlook the past few years and take pity on me.

The ambulance finally rolls to a stop and the three of us wait patiently in the back for Alec to slide open the doors of the van. They eventually wheel me out and into the main lobby of the hospital, much to my chagrin as the patients gawk at me as I pass by. They bring me down the hall a few hundred yards and into a separate room with a hospital bed and a T.V in the corner. There's a cabinet and table next to the bed filled with sharp- pointy things and bottles of medication.

I cringe and look away the second I see an over-sized needle next to a vile of blue liquid. Jeeze, do I even want to know?

"Do you think you can stand?" Alec asks and clips his clipboard on a hook next to the bed. "We just need you to take a seat on this bed here." He rolls a sheet of white crinkly paper over it and pats it for emphasis. I roll my eyes and slide off the stretcher, transferring myself to the bed. "Perfect." He smiles and Chandler rolls it out the door, disappearing down the hall. _Good riddance_.

"Okay," Alec claps once and backs away from me. "Doctor Gerandy will be in to see you shortly. Feel free to watch some T.V. while you wait." Heidi hands me a remote and shuts the door behind her and Alec as they leave the room.

There's a long silence with the only noise being the slight humming coming from the heater vent above my head. I let out an involuntary shiver as I remember my many trips to the ER as a child. I've always been fairly clumsy, more so when I was younger, and managed to have broken eight bones by the time I was seven. Back in Phoenix, the entire staff at the hospital knew us by name. Charlie even set up a tab there for when I would have to stay overnight. By the time we moved to Forks, I was already twelve and had gained quite a bit of balance and no longer tripped over my own two feet. _Much_.

I sigh as I feel the familiar ache in my chest when I remember Forks. I wrap my arms around my chest, unconsciously trying to hold together my heart as it feels like it's splitting in two. _Forks_. The one place I vowed never to return to. The only place that's ever felt like home.

"Are you Bella?" a man with curly blonde hair and a deep German accent peaks his head around the slightly open door and squints at me through his spectacles.

"Yep, that's me."

"Oh, good." He smiles and shuts the door behind him. He's wearing similar scrubs to Alec and that Chandler guy, only his are partially covered by a lab coat. And they look a bit thicker, thank god. "Okay, Mrs. Bella." He grabs the chart from next to my bed and reads through Alec's notes. "Seems like you took quite a fall." He comments and peers at me over the clipboard. He mumbles something to himself and sets the board back on the hook. "Okay, we're just going to take a few x-rays." He informs me and grabs a pair of rubber gloves from his pocket. He snaps them on- no literally, _snaps_ them like in a cheap porn flick. _Although, if this was a cheap porn flick, then he'd probably be preparing to shove his finger up my vajajay_. Sorry buddy, you're old enough to be my father.

He puts slight pressure on my forehead and closes his eyes as he feels all around my head. I breathe a sigh in relief that it no longer feels like someone shoving a ginsu knife through my brain.

"Well," he backs away and rolls off his gloves. "I don't see any swelling, that's a good sign." He pushes his glasses up his nose and discards his gloves in the trash can by the door. _Seriously? He wasted a pair of gloves to feel my head?_ Must be company policy. "So, if you'll follow me…" he trails off and holds the door open for me. I try to ignore the sickening sound of crunching paper as I slide my ass off the chair and head out into the hallway. I hate that paper shit. "Right this way." He pushes on my back slightly and I follow him deeper into the building.

We stop at a door with a giant WARNING! sign on it- which makes me feel wonderful about this procedure- and Dr. Gerandy shoves me inside. "If you would lie down, please Mrs. Swan." He motions to a chair hooked to a giant machine which I figure must be some sort of brain scanner. "We're just going to take a quick scan of your brain-"

"Whoa, whoa. Hold up," I cut him off. "See, I don't have insurance at the moment," I ignore his disapproving look, "how much is this going to cost?"

"You _need_ to have it done Mrs. Swan." He orders and flips on the machine. "It shouldn't be more than a thousand dollars." My eyes widen and I allow him to push me onto the chair. A thousand dollars? "I assure you this is quite necessary." He adjusts my position and raises the chair up so it's closer to the machine. "Just relax and close your eyes. " I follow his directions and try not to think about how much money I'm flushing down the tubes by getting this done. "This shouldn't take more than a few minutes. I nod in acceptance and hear the door slam shut a few moments later.

The machine hums to life and I squeeze my eyes shut, not daring to watch the heavy hunk of metal spinning just inches from my head. There are a multitude of colors swirling around my face through my eyelids and a slight swooshing sound as the machine spins.

It seems like hours before the colors stop spinning by and the humming stops as the machine shuts off. A few moments later the door opens and a happy looking Doctor Gerandy enters. "Success!" he claps and lowers my chair. I pull myself into a sitting position and raise an eyebrow at him.

"Are there high failure rates for this kind of thing?" I ask, only half joking. He pats my shoulder and I follow him out of the room and down the hall.

"Of course not. This is just a brand new machine, never been used before." He smiles brilliantly and holds open the door for the room we were in prior to my scans. And near brush with death apparently. _Never been used before_. What if the damn thing crushed me? I take a seat on the crunchy paper and stew in my anger at the carefree Doc.

"That new _thing_ could have killed me." I hiss at him. He just smiles and shakes his head.

"O course not, Mrs. Swan. It's perfectly safe." He shuffles around the room and grabs the clipboard off the wall again. He clutches to his chest and makes his way back toward the door. "I'm going to go take a look at your scan, I'll be back shortly. Make yourself at home."

Yeah, like my home is painted bright white and has pointy objects covering every surface. _Sounds very homey to me_. I wring my hands and glance around the room nervously as I wait for the doctor. I grab a magazine off the cabinet and flip through it, not really absorbing any of the articles. It's not out magazine, what should I care?

I flip to the cover and scoff. _US Weekly_. What a joke. I throw it back on the counter and cross my arms, gently tapping my foot against the cool ceramic tile. I hum to myself and glance around at the few posters hanging on the wall. _The ten signs of pregnancy_. Pass. _Do I have the Clap?_ Pass. _Is my vagina stretching out with age?_ Pass. _Should I smoke dope?_ Oh, interesting. I scoot closer to the bright purple poster and read through the list of side effects of marijuana. Well gee, I don't think I'll start smoking any time soon. What a dumb poster.

The door creaks open and I spin around, embarrassed at being caught inspecting the dope poster. My smile fades when I see Doc's disheveled appearance. His eyes are bugged out of his head and his clothes are wrinkled and twisted. His hand is running nervously through his hair and he's holding some paper thing up to the light.

"Um, Doc?" I ask, chuckling to diffuse the tension in the room. His weary eyes snap to mine and he gulps audibly.

"Have a seat Bella." He whispers, the tremor in his voice contradicting the calm demeanor he's trying to put out.

"Is everything okay?" I ask slowly, not bothering to sit back down. "Doctor Gerandy, is everything okay?" I ask after a long silence.

"Bella, there's no easy way to say this…" he trails off.

"Say what?" I ask through clenched teeth. "Spit it out already!"

"Here." He thrust the x-ray paper at me and bites his nails as I grab it from him. I look at him curiously before turning my attention to the x-ray. There's an outline of my skull, and blobs that seem to be my brain. What the fuck?

"What am I looking at doc?"

"You see this here?" he points to the translucent-ish mass taking up almost all the space in the skull.

"Um, yeah?" I ask, not quite understanding how my brain is a bad thing.

"Now, you see this? How it's almost white?" He points to another smaller mass surrounded by the brain.

"Yeah…"

He shakes his head and backs away from me slowly. "That's not supposed to be there, Bella."

I stare at him a moment as he fidgets. "What do you mean it's not supposed to be there?" I ask in disbelief. "It's there isn't it? What is it?"

"It's a tumor Bella." He tells me slowly. "I'm so sorry."

I blanch and stare at the x-ray again. "A tumor?" I whisper.

"I'm so sorry."

"How? How can that be there?" I ask him desperately. "I feel fine! There has to be a mistake."

"That's no mistake Mrs. Swan." He tells me and holds his hand out. I hand him the paper and he inspects it closely.

"Then-then get it out!" I stutter.

"Bella…" he soothes. "With the placement, it just isn't possible to remove it. The surgery would kill you." He sets the x-ray down on the bed and takes off his glasses. "When you hit your head, it must have caused the tumor to swell. Judging by the size of it…" he pauses and takes interest in rubbing his glasses on his coat.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Bella, I don't think you have long. Three weeks, tops." He tells me without meeting my eyes.

I slump down on the bed and let his words sink in. "I'm dying?" I whisper, the tears already forming in my eyes. "That's not possible." I shake my head and wipe my eyes. "It can't be!" I yell at him. "I feel fine! If it wasn't for that stupid fall-"

"Bella." He cuts me off. I wipe my face with my sleeve and am surprised to feel wetness leaking from my eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't you dare say that!" I scream. "Don't you dare!"

"Mrs. Swan, please. I know how hard this is for you-"

"I don't believe you." I tell him calmly. "I don't need to listen to this. You believe what you want, but I'm fine." I stand up and straighten my clothes. I grab the x-ray and make my way toward the door. "You can bill me for the scan." I hiss and slam the door roughly behind me catching the attention of the nurse down the hall.

"Is everything alright, ma'am?" she asks. She's an older woman, maybe in her late fifties. I wait for her as she hobbles over to me, and I hand her the scan.

"Is there something wrong with this?" I ask her, trying my hardest to control my rage.

She grabs it and squints her eyes; she inspects it for a minute before turning her sad eyes to me. "Oh, dear." Her face pales and she thrusts it back to me. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry-"

"Why is everyone in this fucking place sorry for me? There's nothing wrong with me!" I scream and storm down toward the lobby.

"Is there a problem, miss?" the secretary asks as I stomp past her. I don't bother to answer as swing open the double doors and step out into the freezing December air.

I walk on shaky legs over to a bench near the hospital and lower myself onto it, ignoring the chill of the seat through my skirt. I shiver and realize I've left my jacket and purse and scar back at the office. It seems like so long ago I was lying on the ground, delirious with everyone worrying about me. What would they think now?

My hands shiver in the cold as I hold the x-ray closer to my face to study it. It takes a minute for me to realize fresh tears are trekking down my face. I gently trace the blob in the center of the skull with my fingers and let out a sob. The tears flow steadily as I rest my head in my hands and weep. Weep for the tumor, which I know is really there. I may have doubted it before, but there's no way to deny it. It's there and it isn't going away.

I briefly wonder how I must look, a shivering woman hunched over a piece of paper sobbing her heart out in front of a hospital. They probably think I'm crazy, or psychotic.

I take another look at the scan. _The scan that changed everything_. Was it really just this morning that I woke up without a care in the world? Was it only a few hours ago when my biggest fear was to get my story in to Bolton on time? Was it really just an hour ago when Vic and I were making a bet about a woman's pubic hair?

Oh god, Vic. What am I going to tell them? How am I going to tell them when I can't even accept it myself? I sniff and attempt to wipe away the river flowing from my face. It does no good since the minute I mop myself up, a whole new flow begins.

Is this it? Twenty eight years? I've barely lived! I want to get married! I want to have kids and a nice house with a yard and a dog. There are so many things I haven't done- I haven't seen! Is this really it?

I glance back down to the x-ray clutched in my hands. _This is really it_.

**What'cha think? Good? Bad? Lemme Know!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter two… hope you like!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me sadly..**

I make my way back to my apartment in a daze, not really concentrating on anything as I grab my mail from the receptionist in the lobby of the building.

"You have a nice day Mrs. Swan." Her cheery voice calls after me before the elevator doors shut closed behind me_. I think it's a bit late for that_. I tuck the envelopes under my arm and hit the button for floor number five, staring at the wall as the elevator creeps up floor by floor. It stops on three and the doors ding open.

I roll my eyes as a thirty-something mom in a bikini five sizes too small and too much make-up struts in beside me and hits the lobby button. _Does she not know it's below freezing out there?_ Her little son just barely makes it in behind her before the doors slide shut.

We start moving upward and the lady lets out an exaggerated sigh. "Does this damn elevator _not_ know I have an aerobics appointment in thirty seconds?"

I snort. "Not unless you think it has a brain." I mock.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't see you there." She smiles sarcastically. "I'm going to be late because of you." She clicks her tongue and shakes her head. "Thanks a lot."

"Oh, you're welcome." I smile sweetly and push past her as the doors dings open on my floor. "Have a nice day ma'am. Oh and in case you didn't know, your tattoo is showing… and you spelled 'fucking sexy' wrong." I point to her left boob which is, in fact, popping out of her top. She huffs and I giggle to myself as I make my way to my flat.

I realize my key is in my purse back at the office and dig around in the soil of the plant outside my door looking for the spare. My fingers wrap around something hard an I pull it out, dusting off the dirt as I slide it in the lock.

I lean against the wall, kicking off my boots and shutting the door behind me. I slide down until I'm sitting on the floor. I grab the x-ray from my coat pocket and unfold it reluctantly, not quite ready to see it again. I set it on the tile beside me face-down as far from me as I can get it.

_Don't think about it Bella_, I tell myself. _You'll only make it worse_. I take a deep breath to clear my thoughts and place the stack of mail in my lap. I shuffle through it gently, discarding the bills to the side.

Bill, bill, bill, December issue of In Style, shit from the company, card- Card? I flip over the green envelope to find the return address. _Emmett and Rosalie Swan_. Of course, the yearly Christmas card. I smile and gently tear the flap open. I pull out a thick piece of cardstock and discard the envelope.

I finger the card lightly and flip it over to the picture side. I trace my brother's smiling face and laugh as I pass over his signature dimples. Rose looks as beautiful as ever in her maternity sweater, glowing as she holds her hand over her protruding belly. Emma and Ethan are wearing matching holiday sweaters and toothless grins as they beam into the camera. God, they're so big… they've got to be, five? Six? I flip over the card to the message on the back.

I skim through their letter, trying to ignore the pain in my chest I feel when I read about all their adventures and hardships. _Ethan and Emma recently celebrated their sixth birthday at La Push beach with a bouncy castle and Grandma Renee's famous fish fry_… Six already. I flip back to the picture side. I don't realize I'm crying until I feel a wet tear trace down my face. I rub it away and stuff the card roughly under the stack of bills.

I carry the stack over to the kitchen table and slump down in a chair. I reluctantly find the card in the stacks and stare at it. I wouldn't even recognize my own niece and nephew. Or my own brother. _God, I've wasted so much time_.

And for what- I think angrily. A hotshot job opportunity at a slowly dwindling magazine company?

I scream angrily as I shove the stack of mail and magazines off the table. The papers scatter around the room. I thump my head down on the mahogany table and groan in pain as I let the wracking sobs overtake me.

I don't even know what the tears are for anymore. Maybe they're for the life I'll never get to live. The life that I've wasted here, away from everything and everyone I once cared about. Maybe it's for the fact that if I were to die right now, nobody would even bother to come to my funeral.

Maybe it's the fact that I haven't spoken to anyone back in Forks since I left five years ago. Or because the last thing I said to my parents was that I'd rather burn in hell than be trapped in that puny ass town for the rest of my life. Or that I told _him_ I didn't love him. That our six years together meant nothing to me.

Thinking about _him_ brings on a fresh bout of tears. I pound my fist against the table as I scream, verbally punishing myself for being so stupid all those years ago. I would give anything to go back. I'd shred that acceptance letter I got from NYU and never look back.

I hear a gruff pounding on my apartment door and quiet my sobs. I rub my teary eyes and wipe my face with my hands. "Hang on!" I croak out, sniffling as I make my way over to continual knocking.

I stop in front of the door, attempting to shake out my hair and straighten down my outfit. When I finally feel somewhat presentable, I crack the door open.

"Is everything alright?" Mr. Jenks asks immediately. I sigh in relief and pull the door open all the way. He hobbles his way in, balancing on his cane. He pushes his thick glasses up his nose and inspects the place. "I heard some screaming comin' from your place," he accuses, pointing his bony finger at me menacingly.

I smile, resisting the urge to hug and find comfort in the four foot old man. Jay Jenks has been like my second family ever since I moved in next door. We hit it off the second I knocked on his door to ask for sugar and he answered in his teddy-bear robe.

"Everything's fine." I tell him, trying to sound honest. He humphs and hobbles over to check the hallway. I feel myself getting emotional as I watch him limp down the hall. God I'm going to miss him. "Jenks," I protest and follow him, "I swear everything's fine. I was just… upset."

"Upset?" he squints up at me. "'Bout what?" he cocks his head to the side. "Why you been crying, child? Did somebody hurt you?" _Only myself_. "I'll kick the ever-loving shit out of them! Just give me a name!" he shouts and races down toward the door. Well, as fast as an eighty-something year old can.

"No! Jenks, no one hurt me. I'm fine." I insist.

"Humph." He crosses his arms over his chest, leaning against the wall for support. "Those red eyes 'a yours tell a different story." He makes his way over to me and grabs my hand, pulling me to the couch. He pushes me down and takes a seat next to me. I smile as he hops up to make it on the couch, his feet not touching the ground. "Don't keep an old man waiting', now. Tell me what's wrong."

"You don't want to hear it." I tell him weakly, my resolve already cracking.

"A course I do, silly child. Didn't I ever tell you I was a psychiatrist?"

"What?" I look at him in surprise, "Really?"

"Naw, course not. I worked in the steel mill. Psychiatrist- Bah, crazy girl." He shakes his head. "Don't you make me force it outta you little girl." He warns, giving me his best version of the stink-eye. It kinda looks like he has to fart.

I giggle. "Jenks, I do have a bathroom ya' know." He glares and my smile drops. "Jenks, if I were to die right now would you go to my funeral?" I ask him seriously.

"Of course I would. After I bring you to life and beat the crap out of you. Ain't no way I'm out-livin' ya little miss." He jokes and I smile. "What brought this on?"

I shrug. "Just wondering, I guess." There's a silence as he waits for me to continue. "I don't know if my family would."

He's silent for a minute as he ponders it. "They're your family." He pauses. "Quoting Lilo and Skibs 'Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.' Of course they would come." He states with finality.

"Um, Jenks? I think its Lilo and Stitch."

He rolls his eyes. "That's what I said. And they say _I_ need the hearing-aid." He mutters. "Back to my point, they're your family Bella. They'd have to be heartless if they'd miss something like that."

"It's not them though." I confess. "It's my fault. I'm a horrible person." I choke out and sniffle to hold back the tears.

"There, there." He pats my back. "You, my dear, are the most wonderful girl I have ever met. And I'm sure-"

"Don't you see?" I cut him off. "I told the only man I've ever loved that I hated him. I abandoned my family, Jenks. My friends! I left them all behind- and for nothing." I sob, finally allowing the tears to escape. "I hate myself, Jenks. I'm worthless! I ruined every good thing I had."

"Don't you talk like that!" he demands. "Don't you ever say stuff like that about yourself!" I stare at him, shocked at his outburst. He takes a deep breath and his eyes soften into the calm and collected man I've always known. "Everyone makes mistakes, Bella. You're human, and so is everyone else on the planet. Don't fault yourself for that." He hands me a blue hankie and I gratefully take it to dry my eyes. "Be thankful," he tells me wistfully. "You're young, healthy. And not to mention, quite a catch." He wiggles his eyebrows and I laugh. "You can make mistakes, Bella. You can fix them too." I lower my eyes to the ground. A bright red and green piece of paper catches my eye. Emmett's Christmas card.

"I just think… maybe it's too late." I tell him as I bend down to pick it up. _I only have a week, Jenks_, I think. I flip over the thick cardstock and the Swan's gleeful faces come into view.

"It's never too late to make amends, child." He pats my arms and pushes himself into a standing position. "Well," he yawns and grabs his walking stick. "You have a good night Mrs. Bella." He hobbles over to the door. I barely notice him, my eyes fixated on the hand-written message below Emmett's picture. _We're having a get-together at our place on Christmas… would love if you could make it_. The message has been the same every year, and every year I had ignored it.

"Bella." Jenks calls. My head snaps up in surprise. "Enough with all this funeral talk." He smiles lightly and pulls the door shut behind him. I rush over and peek though the peep-hole to make sure he gets across the hall okay. With Jenk's luck, he'd get zapped up into an alien spaceship walking two feet to his apartment.

He gives a small wave in the direction of my door, knowing I'm watching, and I smile as he pulls his door closed.

The invitation card is burning a hole in my hand, and I can no longer ignore it. Four years is long enough. I grab my phone off the counter and take a seat at the table. I take a deep breath and dial the unfamiliar number on the card into the keypad. I hit the green button and shove the phone to my ear before I can change my mind. It rings a few times and I check the number to make sure it's right. It rings a few more times before Emmett's voice flows out through the speaker. Well, I assume its Emmett's voice. It's kind of hard to hear over the screaming children in the background. There's a familiar beeping sound indicating it's time for me to leave a message. I'm silent for what seems like hours as I think of something to say.

"Hey, Emmett. It's me… Bella. Um, your sister… but of course you probably knew that." I trail off awkwardly spinning the card around on the table. "Anyway. I, uh-" I clear my throat and shift on the chair, "I got your Christmas card." I blurt out. "The kids are getting so big… I know it's probably- well no, I know it's really late. Christmas is in three days, after all." I chuckle humorlessly. "If you're still doing the whole get-together thing, I think- well I mean- I'd love to. Go that is. You know, t-to your party." I glance up at the clock and realize I've dragged this phone call out for over a minute. "Just, give me a call… maybe. Um, if you're not too busy and stuff." I rush out. "I really would love to see you guys." I add and slam my phone down, officially ending my idiotic rant.

_Too late to back out now_, I think and push the card away from me.

There's another knock on the door and I roll my eyes. "Jenks I told you, I'm- Victoria?" I'm taken aback at the smug look on Vic's face as she holds my purse in one hand and her phone in her other. "Vic, what are you doing here?" I rub my face, trying to erase all traces of my breakdown.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she thrusts my bag at me and pushes her way into my apartment. "I love the new color." She comment and motions to my freshly painted entry.

"Thanks." I push the door shut and watch as she settles herself onto the couch.

"You owe me five bucks." She pops her gum and holds out her hand.

"What?"

"Our bet? You know, EMT lady's crotch? We bet on the carpet would match the drapes?"

"Oh, right." I rub my forehead and take the seat beside her. "I completely forgot."

"Well, pay up." She wiggles her fingers. I roll my eyes and grab a five out of my purse. I'm about to hand it to her when I pull back.

"Wait a minute, how do you know that?" I accuse.

"Apparently Miss Heidi Boon has a bit of a wild side." She smirks.

"God, Vic." I smack her shoulder. "You didn't."

"Yes I did," she waves her phone in front of my face. "And she even let e take a picture of her vag-"

"Vic!" I scream and cover my ears.

"Sorry," she shrugs, not looking sorry at all. "So, I went to the hospital to bring you your purse, but by the time the damn cabbie got through traffic they told me you had already left." She plays around with her phone and smiles as she clicks on something. "Anywho, I bumped into Miss Boon in the hallway on my way out."

I raise my eyebrows at her, "You just happened to bump into her?"

"You call it a coincidence, I call it fate." She smiles impishly. "She recognized me and said hello. I found out she was on break and I offered to buy her coffee. She agreed, of course. You seem to be the only woman who can resist my charm." She adds. "We went to Starbucks and ended up doing it in the bathroom."

I look at her in horror. "Vic, that's disturbing."

"Disgusting or not, you owe me five bucks." She grabs the money from me and shoves it in her bra. "So, I'm seeing her again tomorrow night." I look at her in surprise and she dismisses me with a nonchalant wave. "Don't act so surprised. We both knew there was bound to be a woman to tame me one day." I can tell by the wistful look on her face that she's already hooked. "So, enough about my sexcapade; what did the doctor say?"

I shrug, trying to look unconcerned. "Nothing much. He felt around a bit, did all the normal doctor shit. He said he didn't find anything unusual." I lie. She looks at me skeptically, but doesn't comment.

"So how much is that going to set you back?" she asks and stretches out on the couch.

"I didn't ask. I really don't want to know." I mirror her position. "I told them to send me a bill."

"Heidi said you seemed upset when you left, but your doc wouldn't tell her why."

I shrug, glancing at her sideways. "Nothing to worry about. He just pissed me off is all."

"Do you want to file a complaint?"

"No, Vic! Just drop it!" she looks taken aback, and I'm instantly regretful. "I'm sorry, it's just been a long day."

"I understand." She nods. There's an awkward silence as we just sort of stare at each other. We both visible jump when the phone rings beside us, scaring the shit out of me. Vic leans over me and grabs it before I can stop her.

"Swan residence, Pedro speaking." She answers in a deep voice in a completely serious tone. I cough loudly, trying to cover my laugh and attempt to take the phone from her. "Yes, she's here. May I ask who is calling?" she winks at me. "Uh, huh. Here she is." _It's Emmett?_ She mouths questioningly and throws the phone at me. I barely catch it before it crashes to the floor and hold it up to my ear.

"Hey Emmett." I answer. I jump up off the couch and make my way down the hall, away from Vic.

"Bella?"

"Yeah," I chuckle awkwardly. "Sorry about that."

"How are you?" he asks quietly.

Horrible. "Fine. How are you? And the fam?"

"Good, everyone's good. Excited about Christmas…" he trails off. "I got your message."

"Yeah?" I hold my breath, waiting for him to elaborate.

"Bella," he sighs. "I can't tell you how much it would mean to us if you came."

I let out a rush of air. "I really want to be there." I tell him truthfully. "Emmett, I'm so sorry. For everything I've done- well, haven't done in the past few-"

"Enough." He cuts me off. "We can talk about that another time. The important thing is that you're coming now."

"Thank you." I wince at the crackle in my voice as I hold back tears. "When should I…"

"As soon as you can?" he asks. "We'll be having everyone over Sunday at ten. In the morning…" he adds. "But, if you could maybe- shit." He pauses. "I don't know, if you could come over earlier…" he takes a deep breath, and I hate myself for making him act like this. "I miss you Bella." He rushes out. "I mean, fuck! I haven't heard from you in years, Bella! The only reason I knew you were still alive is because your name was still in the magazine you write for!"

"I'm so sorry," I sob. "I'm sorry. I miss you too, I miss all of you!" my voice shakes, "I'll be there tomorrow," I promise. "I need to see you." It's silent on the other end, and I check to make sure the call hasn't been disconnected.

"I'm sorry too." his voice is quiet and strained on the other end. "I'll see you tomorrow, Bella." He lets out a breath. "I love you B." he whispers and hangs up before I can answer.

"Bella?" Victoria whispers from behind me. I spin around to face her and slump down to the floor. "Bella, what happened? Where are you going tomorrow?" she rushes over and squats down beside me.

"Forks. I'm going to Forks." I answer, my voice void of emotion.

"Where you grew up?" I nod. "Bella, tell me what happened! You're not making any sense- you hate that place."

"Do I?" I retort.

"Of course you do. That's why you came to New York, remember? You told me all about how you hated small town and all the people you grew up with." She looks at me questioningly. "Who was on the phone?"

"My brother."

She tenses. "Is everyone okay?"

"What?" I look up at her concerned face. "No, no. Nothing like that. Everyone's fine. They invited me to a Christmas thing."

"Like they do every year." She baits. "Did he call you to yell at you? Did he guilt you into going Cuz if he did, I swear to god I'll kill that mother fucking-"

"No!" I interrupt. "I made the choice to go. I haven't seen them since I left. They're my family, Vic." I rest my head on her shoulder. "God, Vic. What have I done?"

"I don't know, what are you doing? You swore to me that you'd never go back. So forgive me if I'm not so quick to understand why you're changing your mind now."

"Say I were to die in… a week."

"Bella, don't say that!" she chastises.

"I want to fix this, before it's too late." I tell her with finality. "I'm going to Forks, and I'm going to make things better. I refuse to continue living like they don't exist."

"Bella, are you sure? Maybe you should think about it?" she suggests. I shake my head and allow her to pull me over back to the couch.

"I don't have time to think about it." I tell her cryptically. "It's now or never."

"If you're sure…"

"I'm positive." I smile tightly. "Can you grab my laptop?"

She groans and smacks my arm. "Get it your own damn self." She protests as she grabs it off the table and hands it too me. "Lazy ass."

"But you love me." I flip the switch and power on my computer.

"I do, Bella." She tells me seriously. "I'm worried about you. You're one of my best friends." She thumps down beside me on the couch and rests her head on my shoulder. "Are you sure you're… okay with this?"

I log onto the internet and find the American Airlines homepage. "I need to do this, Vic." I scan the list of flights and click on Seattle. "Do I want to fly out tomorrow and eight a.m. or tonight at eight?" I glance at the clock in the corner of the screen. 3:34. I can be ready and at the airport in four hours. "Tonight it is." I punch in my billing info and confirm the flight.

"Holy shit, Bella!" Vic glances over my shoulder. "You're leaving now? What's the rush?" she complains. "I think you're jumping the gun here."

"No, I'm not. I'm going tonight and that's final." I print out the confirmation and shut the laptop. "Will you help me pack? I want to leave no later than seven." I tell her. I jump up and head into my room, not waiting for her to answer.

"Just tell me what brought all this on." She demands. "Two days ago you were fine with never speaking to them again, and now you can't get there fast enough."

"I can't tell you Vic." I grab my suitcase out of my closet and unzip it. "Just, trust me. Please, Vic. I need this."

"Why can't you tell me?" she asks and hands me a black pea coat out of the back. "Bring this, it's cute."

"It… it isn't important." I grab the coat and throw it in the suitcase along with a few other jackets and some jeans. "You say you're my friend?" she nods and folds up some pajamas and underwear. "Then trust me. I'm begging you." She shoves them in angrily.

"That isn't fair. I know something's wrong! You say you're my friend?" she throws my words back at me. "Then trust _me_! You can tell me anything." She wraps me into a hug and squeezes me tightly. "I'm worried." She whispers.

I pull back to look her in the eye. "I'm going to be fine." I lie. She seems appeased and gives me a small smile.

"Well, now that that's settled." She rolls her neck and opens up my lingerie drawer. Well, if you could call it a drawer. "Jeeze, I need to get you some Victoria's secret for Christmas." She mutters. I roll my eyes and throw more clothes in the rapidly filling suitcase. "Take these." She shoves something lacey and blue underneath my coats before I can object. "Don't look at me like that. Who knows, maybe you'll meet the love of your life in good ol' Forks." She smirks. "And you do not want to be wearing fucking granny panties when you do." She gives me a stern look and returns to my dresser.

I already met my soul-mate Vic, and I let him go. I shake my head and shove a pair of boots into the bag.

"How long will you be gone, you think?" her voice is muffled as she digs through my mass of clothes.

"As long as I can." I tell her.

"What? Like a few days?"

My mind rushes back to the x-rays lying face down on my living room floor. "Maybe a week."

She snorts. "Good luck getting that much time off." The lightbullb goes off in my head and I smile.

"Thanks for reminding me." I grab the phone off my nightstand and dial Bolton's office.

"Bell, what are you doing?"

"Hey, Mr. Bolton. It's Bella."

"Bella who?" he grunts through the phone.

"Bella Swan." I roll my eyes.

"Oh, yes. Bella. How are you dear? I heard you took a nasty spill today."

"Yeah, I-"

"Before you finish, I just want to let you know that I have a wonderful lawyer who will suck you dry if you even attempt to sue the company or myself for your clumsiness. I would also like to add-"

"Hey dickface." I interrupt his rant. "You can find a new bitch, cuz I quit." I yell and hang up. The phone rings moments later and I ignore.

"You didn't just do that." Vic look up at me in horror.

I beam at her. "Yes, yes I did. And fuck if it didn't feel amazing." I flit back over to my closet feeling like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I hum and dance around as I pack stuff into the bag.

"What the hell just happened?"

"I quit!" I can tell the smile in my face won't disappear for awhile. "I can't tell you how long I've wanted to do that." My mood is shattered when I see the look on her face.

"You have no idea what you just did, do you?" She whispers. "Do you?" she screams. "I have no idea who _this_," she motions up and down my body, "is, but I don't like her."

"Vic-"

"Isabella Swan, you have finally lost it." She tells me calmly and dusts herself off. "Bring down your own life, fine. But I won't stand by and watch." She hisses.

"Vic!" I call after her retreating form. "Victoria!" the only response I get is the sound of the shaking wall as she slams the door behind her.

I continue to stare down the hall, waiting for her to pop back in and yell 'just kidding,' but for a long as I wait there, she never does. I lean back against the bed and blink away the stinging sensation of tears waiting to fall.

Is it impossible for me to keep any relationships? I rub my head and glance up at the clock again. 4:30. I need to go.

_Fuck her_. I think to myself as I zip up my suitcase. I slip off my skirt and throw on an old pair of sweats and my leather jacket over my coat. I wheel my bag down the hall and set it by the door. I check my purse for my wallet and phone, and shove my folded x-ray in with them.

I take one last look around my two bed one bath apartment in downtown New York and silently bid it a goodbye, not knowing if I'll ever make it back home. I think about my life for the past few years as I pull my bag behind me and lock up the apartment.

They say home is where the heart is. Truth is, I haven't had my heart in four years. I left it back in Forks. With my family, with _him_. With my first apartment, my first car. New York isn't my home. It never was, and it's taken my pending death to figure that out.

I have a week to make it right, and make it right I will.

**Reviews?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's chapter three… hope you like!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me sadly..**

"Attention flight 734 to Port Angeles, your plane is now boarding." The nasally woman's voice over the intercom pulls my attention away from my angry birds game on my phone. "Please form a neat line behind the front desk and wait for further instruction. We apologize for the slight delay. Thank you and have a wonderful flight." I grumble and shut down my game stashing my phone in my carry-on.

Slight delay my ass. Two fucking hours is not a _slight_ delay. My eight o'clock plane is still currently grounded due to bad weather in Washington. _Big surprise there_. I stretch out my muscles and shuffle into line behind an older couple holding hands and whispering lovingly to each other.

I turn my head and try to ignore the envious feelings bubbling up inside me. _I'll never have that_. I try not to think it, but I can't stop the x-rays from flashing before my eyes. The couple pulls apart and hands their tickets to the heavy-set man in an airline uniform making his way down the line.

"Ticket please," he prompts and holds out his hand. I shoot him an apologetic glance as I dig around my purse for it.

"I'm sorry," I tell him and pass him my ticket.

"It's quite alright." He flashes me a smile and continues on down the line.

"I like your purse." A cheery voice from behind me whispers. After a few seconds, I turn around and am met with a seemingly familiar set of green eyes. _Oh, she's talking to me_.

"Oh," I look down at my five dollar purse from Target. "Thank you." I smile politely and return my attention to the front of the line. A woman also in an airline uniform is shouting something near the boarding dock, but I can barely hear her over the chatter of the other passengers.

"I'm sorry," the woman behind me taps my shoulder. "Do I know you?" I spin around to look at her again. I take in her confused green eyes slightly hidden by her pixie-cut black hair. She can't be taller than four foot nine considering she just barely reaches my shoulders, and her tiny frame is swimming in her baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants.

"Maybe," I tell her noncomitantly, not feeling like conversing with a stranger. I hike my purse up higher on my shoulder and ignore her questioning stare.

"Where are you from?" she asks. I pretend not to hear her and start following the couple in front of me into the suspended hallway to the plane. I shiver at the cooler air on the plane seeps through my coat and take a seat toward the rear of the plane by a window.

I eventually lose interest in watching more and more people appear on the plane and lean back in the seat, closing my eyes and hoping the ride'll be over when I open them again.

"So, you never answered my question." The annoyingly high-pitched voice makes me snap my eyes open in dread. "Where are you from?" the green-eyed girl settles herself in the seat next to me and gives me an expectant look. I sigh. So it's going to be one of _those_ rides.

"Washington." I answer vaguely and close my eyes, hoping she'll take the hint.

"Me too!" she squeals. "Well, I grew up in Oregon, but most of my family lived in Forks, Washington so I visited there a lot." My eyes snap open interest. _Forks?_ "That's probably where I remember you from. Maybe I ran into you up in Seattle, or Port Angeles."

"Did you say Forks?"

"Yeah," she smiles. "Why, you know it?" I lean back in my seat. What are the odds? All the people in the world and I have to be stuck next to someone who knows Forks is just more than an eating utensil for the next five hours.

"Yeah I know it." I nod. "I grew up there." I mumble.

"Really!" she claps her hands. "Thank god, that must be where I know you from! That would have driven me crazy the _whole_ flight." She giggles and sticks out her hand. "I'm Alice. Alice Cullen." I blanch and lean away from her.

_Alice Cullen?_ _Okay_, I take a deep breath. _Relax Bella_. I'm sure there's more than one Cullen family. What are the odds of them being related?

"Maybe you know my uncle?" Alice drops her hand and smiles uncomfortably. "Carlisle Cullen?" she watches my face for any sign of recognition. I shake my head and my eyes widen.

"Excuse me." I get up and squish past her. I make my way down the aisle toward the bathrooms. I lock the door tightly and lean up against the counter, staring into my reflection. My eyes are slightly bloodshot and my face is as white as a sheet. I'm absolutely certain my reaction to hearing her name frightened her, but how the hell else was I supposed to react?

Hearing Carlisle's name brought back so many memories I had worked so hard to suppress. Dinner with the Cullens and having Esme's mystery dish once a week. Curled up on the Cullen sofa with Edwar- _him_ watching movies and having popcorn fights with him and Riley. The look on his face when I told him I was leaving for good.

I slump against the bathroom door and dig my nails into my palms to stop the tears that are ready to flow. Alice Cullen. Edward's favorite cousin who I met once, the Christmas before I left him. _Ironic_, I think, _three days from now will be the four-year anniversary since I saw him for the last time_.

A knock on the door startles me. I use the counter to pull myself up. "Yes?" I croak through the door.

"The plane is about to take off, Ma'am. You need to return to your seat." An impatient voice hisses followed by another knock.

I nod before remembering he can't see me. "I'll be right out." I promise and splash some water on my face. I dry myself with my sleeves and try to ignore the flight attendants cold glare as I make my way back down the aisle and toward my seat. I do a quick scan of the plane, but of course there are no empty seats to switch to.

Alice smiles at me nervously as I take my seat beside her. "I'm sorry, was it something I said?" she asks regretfully. The look on her face is one of true sadness, and I instantly regret putting it there.

"No," I shake my head, "I'm sorry, I just… don't really like to talk about it. Forks." I clarify. She nods her head in understanding.

"I know how you feel." She rests her hand on my shoulder sympathetically. "Not a lot of people like living in Forks."

"I got out as soon as I could." Her face lights up at the prospect of a potential conversation.

"A lot of people do." She nods and leans in closer as the plane's engines rumble on. "Take my cousin, for instance." I cringe knowing exactly who she's talking about. "He hates Fork's with a passion. He moved up to Port Angeles a few years back." I try not to look surprised. "He didn't stay there though, he moved back up to Forks a couple months later. He says he didn't like being away from Carlisle and Esme. His parents." She clarifies.

I stare at her, taking in this new information. A few years ago? _Not long after I left, then_. Could he not stand to be there anymore? Since everything in the town reminded him of me? He hates me that much that he would leave his parents? "Why did he move in the first place? To Port A, I mean." I ask, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Maybe you know him? Edward Cullen?" I try not to cringe at the sound of his name. I close my eyes and attempt to compose myself and stop the hole that gets punched through my chest whenever I think about him. "Anyway," she continues, taking my silence for a 'no.' "His girlfriend," she sneers, "shattered him into a million pieces. Left him for some asshole in New York." She shakes her head. "If I could get my hands on that bitch-" she takes a deep breath and smiles. "Anyway, he says he moved to have a 'change of pace,' but we all knew it was because of her." I wipe my wet eyes on my sleeves and attempt a sympathetic look.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"He's the greatest guy," she shakes her head. The plane starts to take off and I turn to face the disappearing earth below us and try to keep my expression blank. "I felt so bad for him." She continues. "He thought she was 'the-one.'" she whispers and sniffles slightly. I cover my mouth in attempt to keep in the sob threatening to escape.

She's silent for awhile, and I have to stop myself from asking the thousands of questions on the tip of my tongue. I settle for the most important and the one that'll give the least away. "How is he now?" A part of me hopes he's married with kids, and living his dream. The other part hopes he's just as miserable as I am. I mentally slap myself for wishing that upon him.

"He's doing great, actually." She smiles. "I'm so proud of him." I feel my heart drop. "He threw himself into his schoolwork and followed in my uncle's footsteps to become a doctor." I smile despite my mood. He always did want to be like Carlisle. "I have a picture, I think." She pulls out her phone and checks for any flight attendants in the area. Satisfied, she powers it on and holds it up for me.

Alice is making a super-man pose in front of a guy with shaggy blonde hair and blue eyes. Next to them is a strikingly beautiful blonde woman with a small child cradled in her arms. My heart drops when I find Edward beside her with his arms wrapped protectively around them shooting his crooked smile toward the camera. My throat constricts and I clear it softly. I bite my lip as I look him up and down in the picture. He looks just as he did four years ago. His bright green eyes are shining in happiness and his bronze hair is just as unruly as ever as it flops down on his forehead. I smile as I remember how he loved it when I would run my hands through it.

"This here's my Jazzy." Her voice takes on a dreamlike quality as she points out the blonde guy. "That's Edward and my little niece, Kaylee" She coos at the baby bundle. She takes back her phone and flips through more pictures. "That was our trip to Disneyland last year." She comments and thrusts her phone at me again. "This was last Thanksgiving." She zooms up on the picture to Edward and Riley. I have to resist laughing when I see how much Riley has grown. He was in his awkward thirteen phase the last time I saw him. That would make him about seventeen now. He obviously takes after Carlisle with his slicked back blonde hair and impish blue eyes.

"That's my younger cousin Riley." She rolls her eyes. "That boy." She shakes her head.

"Ma'am." An angry woman commands. "Put the phone away before it becomes property of the airline." She hisses and storms off to bark at some kid with an Ipad out. Alice glances at me and giggles as she shuts off her phone, and I can't help but laugh along with her. I lean back in my seat and watch with slim interest as a movie plays on the screen in front of me.

I force myself to be happy for Edward and the blonde girl in the first picture. He always wanted a family, and I'm happy that he got it. He deserves it. I sigh and look out the window at the seemingly endless black abyss of sky surrounding us. I can barely make out the lights sparkling on the land beneath us as we fly by overhead.

We must be in Pennsylvania at least. I think as I shut my eyes and lean back against the headrest.

"Hey," someone pokes my face. I twitch and attempt to turn the other way. "Hey, wake up. We landed." Another poke. I bat at whoever's bothering me and squish my eyes together. "Come on!" the poking persists. My eyes chute open and I glare at the offender who woke me up from my dream. I was in Forks, and I saw Edward. He was waiting for me at the gate and I ran into his arms. He caught me and… I got poked in the face. Repeatedly.

"Sorry, but I really thought you'd want to get off here." She shrugs and gathers her things from under her seat. I sit up and rub my eyes. _I must've slept through the whole flight_, I think in surprise. I look up to the girl next to me and everything rushes back. The plane ride, Forks, Alice, Edward… and the blonde girl with the baby. I look out the open window to the bright lights of Port Angeles airport shining brightly in the dark.

I jump up and grab my purse and attempt to squeeze past Alice. She lays her hand on my shoulder. "I never caught your name…" she trails off expectantly.

I hesitate. Why not? She won't put the pieces together. "Isabella." I use my full name. Nothing wrong with being on the safe side. I smile and grab my carry-on, trying to shove my way past the hordes of people dawdling and stretching out their muscles.

"It was nice meeting you, Isabella. I hope I see you around." Alice calls out to me. I give her a half-hearted wave and exit the plane without looking back. _I highly doubt that Alice,_ I think regretfully.

"Have a nice day." A smiling woman waves as I exit the pane and step into the airport.

"Um, which way to bag claims?" I ask tiredly. I glance at my watch. 3:04 a.m. in New York. "And would you happen to have a time?"

"Of course. Its 12:04 a.m." she points to a large digital clock hanging on the wall behind me. December 23rd. "An baggage claim is right down this corridor." She points to the left. "It opens up into a big room, and your bag should be coming out of chute 3."

"Thank you so much." She nods her head and returns to greeting passengers exiting the plane. I make my way down the hall and follow the signs toward the baggage claim area. I eventually find chute three and wait by a crowd of familiar faces from the pane for the bags to start sliding down.

I look around a bit, hoping I won't run into Alice or anyone else I may know from my childhood. I lean up against the wall and attempt to keep my eyes open as the jet-lag catches up with me. _Let's see_, I glance at my wristwatch again. _Six o'clock in New York_. I'd be at Starbucks getting a venti caramel macchiato for myself and a hot chocolate for Victoria on my way to the office.

I feel regretful as I remember Victoria and our fight before I left for Forks. I rustle through my bag to find my phone and quickly flip it on. The bags start to slide down the chute and I go closer to grab mine as I wait for my phone to start up.

I watch incredulously as black bag after black bag slide down and start to rotate around the belt. _Fuck, they all look the same_. Some guy next to me huffs and grabs a heavy black suitcase with red ribbon tied to the top off the conveyor. I look on in envy as he whistles quietly and strolls away. Note to self: next time use a distinguishing mark. _Next time._ There'll be a next time, I assure myself.

A slightly beat up bag crosses in front of me and I look at it curiously. Sure, why not. I chase after it and hold the tag still to get a good look at it. _Bella Swan_. Fuck yes! I do a mental fist pump and heave my suitcase off the belt. I jiggle the handle up and roll it out of the way of waiting passengers.

My phone buzzes with an incoming text and I flip it open. From Victoria about two hours ago.

_Bella! I tried calling your house, but no answer… I guess you  
>really did go. Bells, I can't tell you how sorry I am for what I said,<br>I was __WAY__ out of line. Please, please, PLEASE call when you get to  
>Spoons (Ooops, Forks lol), I want to hear ALL about it!<br>Love you :) Please don't hate me._

I smile involuntarily as I read through her text. How the hell am I supposed to stay mad at her? I shove my phone back in my bag with the intent to text her back later. _Might as well let her sweat it out a little bit_. I grab my suitcase handle and pull it behind me as I follow the signs toward the exit.

I look around as I walk at the embracing families and laughing children as they race around the waiting part of the building. I grimace as I remember the last time I was here. All I had was a backpack full of clothes and a wad of cash as I tore my way through the airport to beg the attendants to let me on the first flight to New York.

I slowly cross the red 'do not cross line' that marks the beginning of the waiting part where you can walk your loved ones to before they depart to their terminal.

He stood right here, yelling after me as I ran from him. Tears fill my eyes as I glance back to the very spot. _The look on his face as he pleaded with me_- I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Enough. I snap myself out of the past and continue on to the huge glass double-doors leading out to taxi-pickup.

Right as I'm about to open the doors, I feel eyes on me. I can't help but turn around to find who's watching me. I scan the seating and am met with striking blue eyes boring into my own. I glare and try to place the woman. Her blonde hair is pulled back into a tight bun and her head is cocked to the side as she stares at me. A little girl stumbles over to her and tugs on her coat. I glance down at the child and suddenly everything clicks into place.

The woman from the Alice's picture. Of course they'd be here to pick Alice up. Her eyes widen as it dawns on her. Her mouth drops open and she smacks someone with their back to me beside her. I take one look at the unruly bronze mop o his head and know exactly who it is.

The woman tugs on Edward to turn around. He swipes at her hand playfully and begins to spin around. I let out a choked sob and fling the door open, sprinting out into the cold air. I hail a cab and jump into the first one to stop. I throw my luggage in the back and slide in beside it, shutting the door tightly behind me.

_Oh god_. Is all I can think as I rest my head in my hands and let the tears fall steadily.

"Where to ma'am?" the driver with a deep voice and slight southern accent drawls.

I sniffle and lift my head up. "Forks, please." I croak. He nods his head once and pulls out of the line of taxi's.

"You alright miss?" he glances at me curiously in the rear-view mirror.

"I'll be fine." I lie. "Do you know any good hotels in Forks?" I wipe my eyes, willing away my tears until I'm curled up in a motel bed alone.

"I heard Moose Lodge is a mighty nice place to stay." He tells me. "It can run you a bit much though."

I shake my head. "Money doesn't matter." I tell him bitterly. "Not like I'll have a need for it in a few days." He gives me a confused glance through the rear-view, and I ignore it.

I watch with rapt attention as the lights of the city fly by past the taxi window. God, it's been too long. I really never thought I would miss this so much; the small-town feel, the small cities, not having to wait in traffic for an hour to go ten miles.

"So, you from out of town? Visiting?" The driver asks as he maneuvers the car carefully on the icy patch of road.

I think about it and smile as we pass by Bo's Diner. So many nights we went down there to play pool. They're the only place that would accept out shitty fake-id's in high school. "Returning, actually." I respond without a second thought.

"How long you stayin'?"

"As long as I can." He bobs his head in acknowledgment.

"So something' had ya' all flustered before, huh?" he asks expectantly.

"It's nobody," I shake my head, refusing to let myself think about Edward and his beautiful family.

"I never said it was a 'body." _Damn_. "I said it was a 'thing." He raises his eyebrows. "So… I'm a lonely old man who spends his life driving strangers around the state. Indulge me."

I shake my head and watch the city disappear behind a thick forest of snow-covered trees. "I never should have left, that's all."

It's silent as he no doubt tries to come up with his own twisted story about why I left and where I came from. I flip open my phone and open up a blank text.

_Hey, I could never hate you :( I just wish you would  
>have supported my decision. Being back… It's surreal.<br>I never thought I'd see this place again and…  
>I kinda miss it Vic. It made me realize how different my life<br>could've been. How much better… Sorry I'm going all emo and  
>shit on you :p Anywho, I love ya too, and I hope you're having<br>fun with Bolton without me (JK) Miss ya!_

I type in Victoria's name in the recipient box and hit send. I open up my angry birds app and wait for it to load. _Nothing like blowing up some green pigs while you think about how badly you screwed up your life_.

It's some time later when the driver guy alerts me to the fact that we are now entering Forks. He even takes the time to point out the severely outdated sign announcing it.

I have butterflies in my stomach as I watch the little town come into view. It's hard to tell in the cloak of darkness coving the buildings, but it doesn't look like much has changed in my four year absence.

"So, the Moose Lodge it is?" he questions and pulls into a little log cabin with a moose head hanging on the front. I nod and he shuts off the engine. He hits a button on the speedometer and writes something down. "Three hundred fifteen." He shows me the digital reading. I nod in acceptance and pull out my wallet.

"Keep the change." I tell him and hand over four hundred even. His eyes widen and he gawks at me.

"Ma'am-" I just smile and grab my luggage, shutting the door behind me. "Happy holidays!" he shouts through the rolled-down window before taking off back the way we came. I shiver and pull my bag up the steps and under the cover of the over-hang. I dust the snow off my coat and pull the door open.

I'm immediately hit with the mouthwatering scent of cinnamon rolls and Christmas trees. I sniff deeply and relish in the smell of pine. I'd never been able to get a Christmas tree in New York since there would be no way to fit it in the elevator, or the apartment.

I shuffle up to the front desk and ring the silver bell on the counter. An older woman with grey hair and thick glasses peeks her head around the corner and smiles at me. She hobbles over behind the desk and pulls out a notebook.

"So sorry, dear." She apologizes. I wave her off.

"I'd like a room, please."

"One bed or two?"

"Just one." I tell her. She nods and flips through her book.

"That'll be one-fifty a night." She glances up at me over her glasses to check my reaction. I just nod in acceptance and pull out my wallet. "How many nights?"

"Can I get it for a whole week?"

"Of course, dear." She smiles and writes something in the notebook. She types something in on an ancient ten-key. "A thousand and fifty for a full week. If you decide to leave early, just let us know and you'll get your deposit back." I hand her the money and she shoves it down the top of her shirt.

She must sense my horrified glance because she clears her throat and hands me a key. "Room 3." She blushes. "Down to the right, it should be the second door."

I thank her and drag my bag behind me as I follow her directions to my room. I slide the key in and unlock the door to room three. I set my bag against the wall and flick on the light and my jaw drops open.

The room is twice as big as my apartment back in New York. There's a full kitchen off to the right and a couple of couches in front of a large fireplace and flat screen. I walk down the hallway and peek into the first room. A king sized bed and another fireplace. I shut the door and head further down the hall. A full bathroom complete with a Jacuzzi bath. "Jesus," I mutter. Now I see why they charge so much.

I pull my suitcase into the bedroom and set it on a chair in the corner. I rummage through for a warm pair of PJ's and slip them on. I turn up the heater and climb into the bed, snuggling up with what must be million thread count sheets.

I yawn and try not to think about what tomorrow may bring as I slowly drift off.

**Reviews? Yes please!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season! Unfortunately, no Twilight under the Christmas Tree for me. Oh well, maybe next year! Thanks to everyone who took the time to review so far.**

**I give you chapter 4…**

"Hi, I'm here to pick up a rental." I tell the man behind the Rent-A-Car counter.

"Really? I never would have guessed." He smiles, his voice dripping in sarcasm.

"Yeah," I ignore his jibe. "I called a few hours ago. It should be paid for already." He rolls his eyes and clicks away at the ancient computer resting on a stack of phonebooks.

"Name?"

"Bella Swan." He types something in and nods.

"Here you are ma'am." He fishes out a set of keys from his pocket and hands them to me.

"Great," I inspect the dented Toyota keys hanging on the FORKS! keychain. "Um, which car are these for?"

He huffs and grabs the keys, hitting the panic button. A car alarm sounds in the parking lot, not too far from the building. "The blue Prius, right over there." He points to the car with the flashing taillights. "The one with the beeping noise and lights."

"Thanks." I smile at him sarcastically and head out the door.

"Have a nice day, ma'am."

Ten minutes later finds me pulled over on the side of the road, desperately flipping through my MapQuest direction sheets. _Fuck, did I already pass Bernstein Avenue?_ I squint my eyes and search through the front windshield for a distinguishing sign to tell me where the hell I am. Leave it to me to get lost in a city with a radius of two and a half miles.

I jump at the knocking sound on my window and drop my papers. I huff in frustration as they scatter on the floor and reluctantly roll down my window.

My eyes widen in shock. "Oh, morning officer." I smile tentatively. "Is everything alright?" _Fucking Rent-A-Car, they probably gave me a faulty Prius_.

"Everything's fine, I just stopped to make sure everything was alright. It's not too often we see a car on the side of the road unless is filled with a teenage orgy party."

I wince at the mental image I didn't need. "No, no orgy here officer-" I glance at his badge. "Carol." _Why does that name sound familiar?_ "Hey, you're Brad right? Brad Carol?"

He clears his throat and blushes. "Why yes I am. Do I know you? 'Coz I'm pretty sure I'd remember a body like that." He flashes me a slightly perverted smile.

"Yeah," I fidget in the seat. "Um, we went to high school together. Bella Swan." I introduce, suddenly regretting bringing it up at all.

"Holy shit," he gasps, "Bella fucking Swan!" he claps once. "My god woman, time has done you well!" I smile uncomfortably. "Man, I had such a crush on you back at Forks High! Hell, we all did." He laughs and leans down against the door. "But that lucky Cullen guy snatched you up, didn't he. Man, wait until I tell the guys back at the station."

"Oh, okay." I start the car, hoping he'll take the hint that I don't feel like chatting.

"Hey, if you wanna have some fun while you're in town, I'm recently single and sure as hell ready to mingle." He waggles his eyebrows.

"No thanks." I shudder at the thought. "I need to go…" I trail off.

"Oh, right of course." He steps away from the car. I roll up the window and pretend I don't hear him rattling off his cell number. I collect the fallen directions and pick up where I left off.

Okay, First Street to Candy Ave. _Done_. Take a left on Prince and drive 0.5 miles until you reach Bernstein Ave. Destination will be on the right. _Sounds easy enough_. I turn on my signal despite the zero traffic on the road and pull out onto the main street carefully. _Hey, there's a cop behind me who looks bored enough to hit me up for traffic violations- sue me_.

I spot the Prince Ave. sign and take the left, keeping my eyes peeled for Emmett's address he texted me earlier this morning during my free complimentary breakfast that consisted of stale fruit and doughnuts with straight black coffee._ 255, 257, 259…_ Aha! 261 Bernstein Avenue.

I flip open my phone to Emmett's text to double check I'm at the right house. Wouldn't that be an awkward mistake? When I'm finally satisfied I'm not at some ax-murderers' house, I step out of the Prius and hike my purse up my shoulder.

_Wow_, is all I can think as I look up at the most beautiful house I've seen in a long time. The two-story stone house sits on a huge plot of snowy land with twinkling Christmas lights and a huge blow-up Santa. I look up and down the street, amazed to find similar beauty lining each side. _Jeez, you don't see this in the big city_.

"Aunt Bella!" a squeaky voice screams as a little blur runs at me legs, effectively knocking me on my ass. The blur jumps up and down on my lap and squeezes me, eventually becoming clearer. The little blonde curls and deep blue eyes are a dead giveaway.

"Emma, is that you?" I laugh and hug her to me. "You've gotten so big." I tell her.

"Auntie Bella!" she squeals. "You came! You really came!" I just smile, not quite sure what to say. A throat clears and my little nephew glares down at his sister.

"Scoot over fatty." He shoves her and jumps on me, throwing his arms around me.

"Hey!" Emma whines and punches her brother.

"Ethan," I warn, "Don't be mean to your sister."

He blushes and hides his face in my neck. "Sorry, Auntie." I smile. They're just like Emmett and I used to be. "You're so much prettier than the pictures." He whispers to me, like it's a secret. _Pictures?_

"She's the most prettiest ever!" Emma agrees. "You're like a princess." She tells me matter-of-factly.

"How come nobody invited me to the dog-pile on Bella?" Emmet booms. Emma and Ethan jump off my lap and Emmett pulls me up into his arms. "Are you really here?" he laughs.

"Yeah," I sniffle, relishing in his familiar bear-hug. "I'm here."

"Bella," Rosalie smiles tersely over his shoulder. "Nice to see you again." I smile and return her sentiment, picking up on her I'm-not-happy-about-this-situation vibe.

"Well, let's get out of the cold." Emmett flashes us a dimply smile and grabs the kids like rag dolls, running them into the house growling. Rose and I follow them inside in silence and she shuts the door behind us.

"It's three thirty now," Rose tells Emmett, "What time do you want to eat?"

"You guys hungry?" Em asks Ethan and Emma. They nod their heads excitedly.

"Chicken noodle casserole?" Emma asks and Rose nods. "Yes!" she does a fist pump and runs off after Ethan.

"Maybe in an hour?" He prompts. She nods.

"I'm going to go start it then."

"Do you need any help?" I call after her, trying to be polite but knowing I won't be much of a help. This chick right here can burn water.

"Help would be great." She smiles tightly. Em ruffles my hair.

"How are you?" he asks and I shrug.

"You guys look like you're doing great." I motion to the beautifully decorated house.

"I couldn't be happier." He tells me honestly. "You're here- now I have everything I want." He pulls me in for a quick hug before chasing after the kids. "Ethan! Emma! Where are you?" he calls out in a mock-evil voice.

I find my way to the kitchen, careful not to trip over Emma as she runs past me. I find Rose starting up the oven and bustling around the room. I take a seat at one of the stools against the wall.

"I'm surprised they even remember me." I say, trying to start a conversation as we watch Em and the kids race out the sliding door into the snow.

"I doubt they do," she squats down and grabs a wooden cutting board from under the sink. "They were only three when you left."

"Then how… how do they know who I am?"

She sighs. "Because of Emmett." She grabs an onion and starts to peel it over the trash. "He keeps pictures of you up and tells the kids stories about you guys when you were younger. He makes sure they know who you are." It's silent as I take in this new information.

I feel suddenly prouder of my brother knowing this. Many people would have just refused to acknowledge a sister that walked out on the family, but he did the complete opposite. "Why would he do that?"

"Because," she starts chopping the onion up. "He always had faith in you. He knew that one day you'd come back."

"He was the only one, wasn't he." I take her silence as an affirmative. "You don't want me here." I break the silence. Rosalie stops chopping and sets the knife down on the cutting board.

"It's not that…" she trails off and turns to face me, her blue eyes like ice. She pauses and looks up at the ceiling as if trying to find the right words. "I just don't want my family to be in pain when you leave again. It's not just Emmett this time, now you've dragged my kids into your little… _game_."

"My game?"

"Perhaps game isn't the right word." Her eyes cut to mine and I step back at the fire in them. "Your drama-fest that seems to follow you around everywhere you go."

I raise my eyebrows at her. "I never meant to hurt anyone."

"Well, you did. Emmett, your parents… Edward." I wince.

I look down at the tiled floor in shame. "I was nineteen, Rose. I was young, stupid." I shake my head. "I wanted a change, and then… the letter came. After that, it spread, like a disease. Everywhere I went, I saw little imperfections and I convinced myself that moving to New York would fix everything."

"If you want sympathy, you're wasting your time with me." She resumes chopping the onion murderously.

"The last thing I want is sympathy." I lean my head back against the wall. "I just want… forgiveness I guess. Although that's probably too much to ask."

It's silent- the only noise in the kitchen is the metal against the wooden board. "What changed your mind?" she pauses and waits for my reaction.

"I could… I could _die_ tomorrow." I tell her bluntly, trying not to wince as I remember the x-rays I forgot to take out of my purse. "Anything could happen. And if it did… I wouldn't want it to end like this."

She turns toward me and searches my eyes. Eventually she nods and sets down her knife. "Just, don't disappear again." She whispers and comes toward me. "We all miss you, and it may be hard for us to accept that you're back… but they need you Bella. The family- it just isn't the same without you." She gently lifts her arms and wraps them around my waist. "We all need you."

"I'm so sorry, Rose."

"Sorry won't change anything." She releases me as a timer on the over goes off. "Just show us you've changed." She smiles, the first real smile she's given me today, and shoves a tray of garlic bread into the oven. "Will you tell Em and the kids we have ten minutes till dinner?"

"Sure," I jump on the chance to do something useful and mull over my conversation with Rose.

Dinner passes in a comfortable silence followed by the kids helping Rose clean up the kitchen. Em and I make our way into the living room and he shuffles through the cabinets for a DVD.

"Sorry, I know the last thing you probably want to do is watch a green animated dude steal presents from little kids." He apologizes and hands me a movie.

"The Grinch who stole Christmas." I read the title.

"Yeah," he chuckles. "It's a yearly tradition." I smile and hand him the movie to slide in the DVD player.

"I want to sit next to Bella!" Emma screams and jumps in my lap.

"No fair!" Ethan yells back at her. "She's mine too."

"Come here," I giggle and pat the spot next to me on the couch. He smiles and snuggles into my side. Rose comes in and grins at me as she walks by to sit on Emmett's lap. I give her a confused look and she points to the kids curled up on me.

By the time the movie's over, the kids are yawning and Rose is trying to motivate them to go up and get ready for bead by bribing them with presents. They immediately perk up when she mentions Santa and they jump up off the couch.

"Happy Christmas Eve Aunt Bella!" Ethan and Emma shout in unison as they make their way up the stairs to brush their teeth...

"I'm glad you made it Bells." Rosalie smiles and pulls me in for a hug. "We'll see you tomorrow?"

"Definitely." She nods in appreciation and follows the kids upstairs.

"Thank you, Bella." Emmett tells me in a voice more serious than I've ever heard him use. "You have no idea how much this means to me- to the kids."

"No, thank you." I tell him honestly and reach for his hand. "I just wish I would've pulled my head out of my ass sooner." I chuckle without humor. He pulls me in for one of his famous bear hugs and lifts me up off the ground.

"All that matters is that you're here now." He sets me down and sniffles.

"Emmett," I joke, "Are you crying?"

He sniffles and shakes his head vigorously. "No, I just got something in my eye." He smiles. "I'll walk you out." He follows me down the porch steps and to the Prius. "Nice car," he snorts.

I smack him on the shoulder and roll my eyes. "Mature, Em. Really mature."

"Well, alrighty then." He pulls open my door for me. "See you tomorrow."

"Absolutely. What time, you think?"

"Maybe around twelve or so?" he trails off and taps his chin. "We usually eat dinner around one-ish and open gifts after that… If you want to come earlier though, you're more than welcome."

"Emmett," I scoff, "When have I ever been known to be early?" I tease, remembering all the high school parties we were late to because of me." "I'll be there at noon?"

"Sounds good." He pulls e in for an awkward one-armed hug and kisses my head. "I missed ya lil' B." he smiles and shuts my door, waving as I back out of the driveway.

_I missed you too, and I always will_.

**Reviews? You know you want to!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to everyone who took the time to review so far! I give you chapter 5…**

I pull up into Emmett's familiar driveway and shut off the Prius noting the extra car in front of the house. I recognize the silver Volvo and I swear my heart stops. _It can't be him. Emmett wouldn't do that to you, or Edward_. I try and convince myself.

I grab the presents I got at the little toy-shop down the street on my way home last night and head up the porch to ring the doorbell. Thankfully I somehow manage not to slip on the ice covering the porch on my way up.

"Auntie Bella!" Emma squeals and hugs my leg. "Are those for me?" Her eyes zero in on the bags in my arms. "For you and Ethan." I hand them to her and she rushes to stash them under the tree.

"Lil' B!" Emmett swings me around in a hug until I'm dizzy.

"Nice sweater," I snort when he sets me down. His genuinely ugly holiday sweater has a stuffed moose hanging off the front with light-up Christmas lights sewn around its neck flashing in red and green.

"Don't hate the sweater." He warns me playfully. I laugh and shake my head, my eyes falling on the man behind Emmett.

"Bella?" he asks, his voice cracking slightly.

"Edward." I whisper, feeling the traitorous tears welling up in my eyes.

"Emmett," a voice calls from the kitchen. "Do you have any apple juice for Megan?" A stunning blonde woman steps out from around the corner with a little girl attached to her leg. Her expression falls as her bright blue eyes find mine. "Oh," she smiles at me and shoots a questioning look to Edward. "I'm Tanya." She detaches the girl from her leg and walks over to me with her hand outstretched.

"Bella." I grasp her hand and shake it lightly, trying to conceal the envious tone in my voice.

"Oh! It's so nice to finally meet you!" She drops my hand. "Eddie's told me all about you." She smiles.

"Hello!" A woman's voice calls as the front door opens. "My goodness, it is freezing out there. Charles, grab the presents from the trunk, will you?"

"Grandma!" Ethan and Emma shout as Renee comes into view. A bright smile lights up her face as she greets then both with a hug and a kiss on the forehead. She looks just as I remember with her smooth features and shining eyes despite her age.

"Mom," I choke out. Her head shoots up and her eyes scan the room. She gasps when she sees me and pushes herself up off the carpet.

"Isabella?"

"Your mother went overboard on the presents again, Emmett." Charlie grunts as he pushes through the front door with boxes stacked in his arms, blocking his vision. "Where you want them son?"

"Isabella..." Mom asks again, as if she can't believe her eyes.

"Hi mom." I sniffle.

There's a loud clunk as Dad drops the gifts. "Bells?" He whispers.

"Daddy-" I choke out. He lets out a strangled sound and hobbled over the forgotten gifts to me.

"Baby." He sobs and pulls me into a hug. I revel in the forgotten feeling of his strong arms and minty scent. "Bells-" he grasps me tighter. "My little girl." I squeeze him tighter and don't try to stop the fat tears welling up in my eyes from falling. "Renee," he whispers. "It's our baby." He pulls back and holds me at arm's length to look me up and down. "You're too skinny-what have you been eating? Air?" He laughs despite himself and pulls me in for another hug.

"Mom?" I ask when Charlie finally releases me. Her face is pale and her arms are crossed protectively in front of her. I take a step closer to her with my arms outstretched, but she backs away until her back hits the wall behind her. My arms fall limply to my sides as I wait for her to say something- anything.

"Renee," Charlie chastises.

"Look who decided to grace us with her presence this year." She spits out, ignoring Charlie.

"Mom," Emmett butts in.

"No, she deserves this." She hisses and stalks over to me, her index finger pointed menacingly at my chest. "Forgive me if I'm not so quick to forget what you did." My head bows in shame. "How dare you," her hands shake as she draws closer and her eyes begin to water. "How dare you come back now? After all this time, coming in here like you never left! Like nothing ever happened!" She shouts.

"Mom," Emmett interrupts, "That's enough!" He tells her forcefully. There's a tense pause.

"Edward, Tanya, let's check on dinner." Rosalie suggests. I watch as they shuffle out into the kitchen. Edward turns to glance back at me one last time. I let out a small sob as his pained eyes catch and hold my own.

_I'm sorry_. I want to screen at him. _Please forgive me, I'm so sorry- I never meant any of it_. He breaks his stare and promptly follows Tanya into the kitchen.

"How's your wonderful New York life?" Mom asks sarcastically, wiping her tears away with her scarf. "Is it everything you dreamed and more?"

"You can berate me all you want, it won't make any difference." I tell her. Her eyes flash in anger. "I can't go back in time, mom. If I could-" I glare up at the ceiling. "I would do out all over. I didn't realize how big of a mistake leaving was until-" I stop abruptly, the x-rays burning a hole in my purse.

"Until?" Mom prompts.

I shake my head. "It's not important." I walk closer to her and grab her small hands in my own. "But I want to fix it." I plead at her with my eyes. "Please, let me fix it."

A tear escapes her eye as she pulls me close to her. "You-" she sobs gently against my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry." I hug mom and glance between Emmett and dad over her shoulder. "So sorry."

"Em," Rosalie pokes her head around the corner of the living room. I party moms shoulder and back away. "Dinner's ready, guys."

Dinner- or lunch as I would call it, considering it's only a little after one- is a very quiet and very tense event.

"Okay," Rosalie sets down her fork, breaking the awkward silence. "Why don't we go around the table and say what we're thankful for."

"It's not thanksgiving mommy." Ethan rolls his eyes.

"Hey," Emmett warns him. "Okay, I'll start." He rubs his chin in a 'thinking manner' making Emma giggle. "I'm thankful for all this delicious food courteous of my beautiful wife." He smiles at Rosalie making her blush. "And my wonderful family and friends." He sends me a small smile. "Edward?" Em nudges him.

"Alright," he clears his throat. He runs a hand through his hair, and I can't help but smile at this familiar action. It's always been a nervous habit of his- since high school, and he's always hated having everyone's attention on him. "I guess I'm thankful for family and friends as well." He chuckles nervously and looks up at me out of the corner of his eye.

Tanya snorts beside him. "Very original, Eddie." She spoons more mashed potatoes on her plate. "I am thankful for my wonderful little girl," she pinches Kaylee's cheeks playfully. "And the family who took care of us when we needed it most." She smiles at Edward and Alice.

_Nothing about her wonderful husband?_ I think bitterly. If he was mine I'd- no Bella, I chastise myself silently. _He's not yours_.

"Ethan baby, what are you thankful for?" Rosalie asks.

He taps his chin- looking so much like his father- and turns to Emma. "Me and Emma are both thankful for our mommy and daddy, and all the presents under the tree." Emma giggles and nods her head in agreement.

"But..." Emma trails off and gives Ethan an expectant look.

"We're also thankful for Auntie Bella." Ethan finished and shoots me a toothless grin. "We love you Auntie." Emma makes a nod of approval and looks up at me shyly.

The table goes silent and all eyes fall on me, but I can't stop staring at my niece and nephew in wonder. "I love you guys too." I manage to get out, my voice thick with emotion. "So much."

Emma scoots out her chair and runs over to me, throwing herself on my lap. She clings into me and burrows her face in my neck. "Promise you won't leave us again, Aunt Bella?"

I hug her close, hating myself for being the reason she's so sad. "I promise, sweetheart."

She pulls back and looks up at me with a huge grin lighting up her face. "Really?"

"Really?" Em asks skeptically. I meet his gaze over Emma's head and nod silently. "How long are you staying?"

I close my eyes and Emma jumps off my lap to go back to her seat. "As long as I can." I tell him, keeping my eyes down on my food and trying to push down the feeling of nausea every time I think about the future.

"Now how's that going to work with your fancy job and all?" Mom asks, not even attempting to keep the spite from her voice.

"Actually," I mumble and pick at my food with my fork. "I quit." A fork clatters against a plate and I jump in surprise, my eyes immediately finding Edward who had a dark expression on his face.

"How will you live with no job?" Charlie asks, concern lacing his voice. "In New York, nonetheless!"

I feel everyone's eyes burning into me as I shrug and take a sip of my champagne. "I guess I'll deal with that when the time comes." Or doesn't come, I think dejectedly.

Edward shoves his chair out from the table roughly. "Excuse me." He hisses and takes off out the front door, slamming it shut behind him.

"I'm sorry." I apologize to everyone and get up to go after him.

"Bella," Tanya calls behind me. I pause with my hand on the handle of the front door, but don't turn around. "Just hear him out." She pleads. I spin around and stare at her in surprise. "Go." She makes a waving motion at me. She wants me to go after him? _Shouldn't that be her job?_ Not that I'm complaining.

I twist the handle and step out into the freezing air, immediately regretting not grabbing my coat on the way out. I scan the driveway for Edward and nearly trip over the bundle huddled up on the porch steps. I breathe a sigh of relief and pull my sweater tighter around me before perching myself next to him on the top step. I'm positive he knows I'm here, but he's silent as we watch an occasional car drive by on the road.

"How have you been?" I ask quietly, trying to dispel the tension. _You did this_, I mentally tell at myself. _Gone are the days of telling him anything and everything_.

He snorts in response. "Three years, and that's what you're going with?" He shakes his head and dusts the snow off his pants. He's about to stand up, but I grab his arm to stop him.

"Please, don't go." _I need you. I love you_. I' never actually say it. He looks at me nervously before taking a seat beside me again. I shiver and wrap my arms around myself to keep in heat. Edward wordlessly peels off his coat and drapes it over my shoulders. I grasp it and inhale deeply, trying to commit his scent to memory. "Say something." I beg quietly.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Anything! Scream, yell- something!"

"Why are you really here?" He asks, unleashing the full force of his piercing green eyes on me.

"They were all broken after you left the first time. We all were." He adds quietly. "You have no right to do it to us again."

"I'm trying to fix things, Edward." I lay my hand gently on his knee, hoping he won't shake it off. I sigh in relief when he doesn't. "I don't plan on leaving this time." I say, just as shocked as he is at my revelation.

"Then what do you plan to do, Bella?" I shiver in pleasure as his silky voice wraps around my name.

"I don't know yet." I tell him truthfully. There's another silence as the neighbors pull up into their driveway and hop out of the van, hollering about Santa Claus. A middle aged man with thinning hair waves to us before letting the kids into the house.

"Bella," he starts and stops himself. He lays his warm hand over mine on his knee. "I- _fuck_." He looks at me closely, his eyes scanning mine. I don't know what he sees- hell I don't even know what I feel- but I pray he can't see my love for him reflecting in my eyes. "God Bella, I've missed you so much." He chokes out and pulls me in for a bone crushing hug.

I throw my arms around his neck and return the hug. "You have no idea." I whisper into his neck, my tears falling and soaking his shirt. "I'm so sorry, I-"

"Stop, Bella." He demands and pulls away. "Don't you dare."

"Edwa-"

"You left me." He states, staring off down the street. "You were my _everything_, Bella. My love, my best friend, my girlfriend- you were my life Bella." His eyes cut to mine. "And you tore me apart. You left me like it was _nothing!_"

"Edward, please just hear me out!" I plead. "I lied! I lied about everything. I knew it was the only way you'd let me go!"

"Why did I have to let you go?" he asks, his eyes watering. "I loved you Bella, and I would've followed you to the end of the earth if I had to."

"Because I knew it wasn't what you wanted." I look down at my boots as I kick a clump of ice on the step below us. "You wanted to stay close to your family. You wanted to go to a local college. You wanted to settle down and start a family, and I wasn't ready for that."

"Don't you pin that on me!" he accuses, "Maybe New York wasn't what I had in mind, but we could've worked it out. You didn't even talk to me, Bells. And settling down? Of course I wanted that- but not right then! We were twenty, Bella. I knew it wasn't the right time. You should have _talked_ to me. New York was a huge decision, and you made it by yourself. You broke up with me because you thought it was best for _us_, right?"

"Well-"

"But how could it have been best for _us_ when you didn't even bother to tell me you got the internship in the first place?" he asks, his voice cracking slightly. "You can apologize as much as you want, but nothing is going to change what you did."

"I know that." I tell him despondently. "And I know you'll never be able to forget that. All I can do is hope that one day, maybe you'll forgive me." I pick at a thread on his coat. "And it's not like things didn't work out for you." I motion to the house. A car pulls up into the driveway and I raise my voice. "You got what you wanted. A beautiful wife, a daughter." He shoots me look of confusion and opens his mouth to say something.

"Isabella?" a perky voice asks as a car door slams. "Is that you?" I shade my eyes from the sun and spot Alice running toward us while shoving her yellow Porsche keys into her purse. "You didn't tell me you knew my cousin!" she ruffles Edward's hair.

"Wazzup Eddie?" another voice shouts. All I see is a blur as someone jumps on Edward, forcing him on the icy porch. "Got ya' bro." the blonde teen with familiar blue eyes laughs and dusts himself off as Edward grumbles something at him. "Who's your lady friend?" he flashes me a flirty smile. His smile drops and he tilts his head to the side. "Bella? Is that… Bella!" he laughs and tackles me to the ground.

"Riley," I giggle with him and return his hug.

"Bella," he pulls away and looks me up and down. "Looking delicious as always." He winks and I swear I hear Edward growl. _Or maybe it's wishful thinking_. He smiles widely, showing a set of dimples and pearly white teeth. _Oh yeah, this kid's gonna be a heartbreaker._ "I missed you Bells. We all have." He glances at Edward quickly and I swear I see him blush. "And if old Ed-man here won't take you back, you always have me."

"Okay," Alice interrupts. "Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?"

"Ali," Riley stands up and makes a sweeping motion toward me. "This is Bella. Edward's ex–hopefully not for long- and my secret love." He wiggles his eyebrows at me.

Alice sends me a glare. "You're Bella? _The_ Bella?" she asks slowly.

"The one and only." Riley says, before I can stop him.

"You little-" she throws down her purse and lunges at me. "Do you have any idea what you did to him?" she screams in my face and pins me down. I don't even try to fight her off- I know I deserve this. "You broke him, left him in pieces!"

"Alice," Edward interrupts.

"You heartless little bitch." Alice yells and slaps me.

"Alice!" Edward yells and pulls her off me. "Don't talk to her like that." He demands.

"No," I sob, "I deserve it. I deserve it all!"

"What's going on out here?" Emmett booms from the doorway. "Bella?" he rushes over and squats down next to me.

"I'm sorry Emmett." I sob, "I tried, but some things can't be fixed." I push myself off the porch and slip off Edward's coat, handing it to him. I can't look him in the eye as I shamefully race down the steps.

"Bella," Edward calls after me, his voice confused. "Bella, wait!"

"I'm so sorry-" I yell to no one in particular as I throw open the drivers' door of the rental. I wipe my eyes and back out of the driveway, not giving myself the chance to look back at everything I'll miss. "So sorry," I whisper to myself.

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	6. Chapter 6

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**Thanks to everyone who took the time to review so far, I give you chapter 6…**

It's closing in on five p.m. when there's a knock on my door. I reluctantly set down my gallon bucket of chocolate ice cream and open the door.

"Edward," my eyes widen in surprise and I blush when I realize how shitty I must look right now in my sweatpants and oversized sweatshirt.

"You forgot your purse at Emmett's." he holds up my bag and I grab it.

"Thank you." I set it on the room's couch. "You can come in."

"Actually, I was sent to retrieve you." He rubs the back of his neck. Another nervous habit.

"Retrieve me?" I raise an eyebrow in question.

"Yeah," he clears his throat. "We all did some talking… and certain people realized they were being douche-bags and wanted to apologize."

"No one was being a douche-bag." I slump down on the couch and pick up my spoon and Ben and Jerry's tub. "I deserved it all."

"Ben and Jerry's, huh?" He sits next to me. "That bad?"

I nod and flick off the T.V. "Worse." I offer him my spoon and he takes it, much to my surprise.

"I'm sorry for how I acted." He apologizes to me in between bites of ice cream. "As upset as I am… I had no right to treat you like that."

"Like what?" I guffaw and grab the spoon, taking a monstrous scoop. "That's the problem, you're nothing but nice! After what I did, you should have screamed at me. You should hate me!"

"I could never hate you." He steals the spoon from me and I glare at him. "You know what?" he asks, his mouth full. "We should start over." He sets the spoon down on the table and turns toward me. "Hi, I'm Edward." He sticks out his hand and smiles impishly.

"Edward," I roll my eyes and bat his hand away. "What has you so… happy?"

"I may or may not have been sipping the eggnog all night after you left." He snorts.

"So, you're drunk." I try to hide my disappointment with amusement. He's only here because he's incapacitated.

"Why so sad?" he tilts my chin up until I'm forced to look him in the eye. "He taps me nose and places a light kiss on my cheek. "Don't be sad, Bella." He frowns. "You deserve to be happy." He pushes my hair out of my face tenderly and kisses my forehead. "You deserve the world."

"Why do you do that?" I ask, my eyes watering.

"What?"

"Put me on a pedestal like that? Act like I'm the greatest person in the world?"

"Because," he traces my lips with his thumb. "To me, you are the greatest person in the world. That's what we do for the people we love. Everyone makes mistakes, Bella, but not everyone has the guts to admit they were wrong and try to fix them." He withdrawals his hand and claps it around my own. "You're so beautiful, Bella."

I finally let the tears fall. He pulls me to his chest and rocks me back and forth as the sobs wrack my body. "I never deserved you," I choke out. "And I never will- no matter what I do, you'll always be too good for me."

"Shh," he hushes me. His cell rings in his pocket and he fidgets around to pull it out.

"Hey Tanya." I pull back in disgust, remembering he belongs to someone else. "Yeah, I have her. We're on our way." He pauses and I hear a feminine voice on the other end. _Tanya_. "Relax, woman! Tell them we'll be there in a minute."

He rolls his eyes at me as he hangs up. "These people." He jokes. I stand up and grab the spoon to throw in the sink. "What?" he asks and follows me into the kitchen.

"Let's get this over with." I spit out bitterly while I slip on a pair of converse. "Your _wife_ is waiting." I'm halfway out the door when he grabs my arm and pulls me inside, trapping me between his body and the wall.

"Is that what this is about? Tanya?"

"No," I lie, but he sees right through it.

"Bella," he sighs and rests his forehead on the wall behind me. "Believe me; you have nothing to worry about."

"Um, ouch. I know you probably hate me and all, but do you have to be so harsh?"

He cocks his head in confusion. "No!" his eyes light up in understanding. "I didn't mean it like that…" he trails off. "Bella, Tanya is Alice's sister. My cousin." He chuckles.

I blanch, feeling like a class A jackass. "Oh, my god," I slide down the wall and rest my head in my hands. "I'm so embarrassed." He kneels down beside me and pulls my hands away from my face.

"Don't be." He smiles crookedly and my heart beat picks up. "And for the record, there'll never be any competition." He blushes and helps me to my feet. "We should go, now." His voice cracks and resist the urge to smile like an idiot.

There's a comfortable silence in the Volvo as he weaves down the road to Em's house. I'm slightly embarrassed considering I'll be showing up at their house looking like a frump in my sweat outfit and beat up Chucks.

"Here we are." He shuts off the engine in their driveway and rushes around the car to open my door for me.

"And who says chivalry is dead." He jokes. I blush and step out, grabbing my purse from the backseat. He rests his hand lightly on the small of me back as we walk up the porch to the house. We haven't even reached the top step when the door flings open and mom rushes out, sobbing.

"My baby!" she pulls me into her arms. "I'm so sorry." She cries. I get over my initial shock and return her hug with equal fervor. "I didn't mean it; you know how I get when I'm upset!" Yes, yes I do. She once threw Emmett's guitar out the window because he forgot to pick up her dry cleaning when we were younger. Some people may say she has anger-management issues, but we call it the Renee Complex.

She sniffles and smoothes down my hair- which I'm sure looks lovely right about now. "You look so different baby. So beautiful." She smiles brightly. "Come, come. We're just getting ready for desert." She tugs on my hand and I follow her in. I look back at Edward and he smiles at me.

Mom tugs us over to the couch where we sit down and watch Emma and Ethan shove pumpkin pie in their mouths. Emma lets out an Emmett-like burp and giggles.

"That's my girl," Emmett states proudly and snaps a picture of them.

"You want some pie, Bella?" Tanya asks from across the room.

"Oh, sure. Why not." I giggle.

"Psh," Emmett huffs as he plops down next to me. "Nice outfit lil B'. Did you just come from the old lady Frump Convention?" he snorts.

"Really mature, Emmett." I roll my eyes.

"I resent that young man." Mom glares at him.

"Don't be angry mommy," he gives her a dimply smile. "You always look so pretty and youthful." He tells her cheerily.

"What shakin' Bacon?" Riley asks and sits on my lap with his pie. I roll my eyes and push on him, but he doesn't budge.

"What's wrong Bella? I used to sit with you all the time and you'd read to me." Riley jokes and takes a bite of his pie.

"Riley!" Tanya chastises. "That was Bella's pie."

"Jerk," I tease and slap his head.

"Ouch, woman." He laughs and scoots off me. "So, the suspense is _killing_ me." He whines and sets down his- _my_ pie. "When's it going to be official?"

"What?"

"When are we gonna be brother and sister?" he rolls his eyes as if to say 'duh.'

My face falls and I force out a smile. "That's not going to happen." Watch Edward as he picks through the cookies in the basket on the table, thinking no one is watching him. He looks around discreetly and catches my eye. He winks at me and bites into a chocolate chip one, sliding the lid back in place.

Riley frowns. "Because you left before? That's just a complication. Every relationship has one."

"And what are you, the relationship guru?"

"No, but I know soul-mates when I see a pair." He fluffs my hair and moves down the couch to sit with Emma and Ethan.

"So," Tanya plops down beside me followed by Rosalie, Edward and Emmett. "Tell us all about New York. What's it like there?"

I shrug. "It's… big."

"Details." She urges. "Alice, come here. Help us get something out of Bella." I wince as Alice storms over to us and sits across from me. She doesn't glare, but her expression isn't exactly welcoming.

"It's crowded, and it kinda smells…" I jumble my brain for something positive, but sitting here with my family and people who are looking at me like they want to stab me with a toothpick *cough* Alice *cough*, I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be. "It can be pretty, though. All the lights and the big buildings." I nod, hoping that'll be enough.

"Any men in your life? You can't be in that big city all alone." Rose teases playfully.

"Nope," I chuckle awkwardly, not meeting Edward's eyes. "No men." _In over a fucking year!_ My mind screams at me.

"Emmett and I read your articles all the time." Rosalie tells me. "You really have a lot of talent." I blush and thank her.

My phone jungles and buzzes from my pocket making me jump in surprise. "I'm sorry," I scoot off the couch and head into the hallway. "Hello?" I answer, kind of hoping its Victoria.

"Bella Swan?" A guy with a thick accent asks.

"Yes? Who is this?"

"Doctor Gerandy from New York Medical?"

"Oh, yes. Hi."

"I need you to come down here as soon as possible. We have some new… information you may find interesting about your tumor." _Interesting?_

"Alright, then. Can't you just tell me over the phone?'

"No, no. It's really something we should do in person." He insists. "How soon can you be here?"

"Tomorrow, maybe?" I tell him regretfully, not wanting to leave.

"That's perfect!" he cheers. "Come by as soon as you get in town!" the line goes dead and I glare at my phone. I shove it in my pocket and make my way back into the living room. I stop when I see Emma's watering eyes as she sits in the hallway.

"Emma?" I ask and squat down next to her. "What's wrong?"

"You're leaving." She sniffles. I sigh and make myself comfortable next to her. "You promised you would stay."

"I know sweetheart, but something came up." My heart breaks as she nods dejectedly. "Hey," I tilt her chin up. "It's not forever." I lie. "I just have to go take care of some things, okay?"

"But, you said you would stay."

"And I will stay, once I get back from New York."

"Pinky promise you'll come back." She demands and sticks out her pinky finger. I wrap hers in mine and we shake. "You can't break a pinky promise." She warns and runs off toward the living room.

"Everything okay?" Edward asks.

"Yeah" I try to smile. "I'm just gonna have to go back a little sooner than I expected." His face falls.

"Oh,"

"This is probably too much to ask…" I trail off, debating whether or not I should actually ask. "I have to take the rental back at noon tomorrow, and I'll need a ride to the airport. I mean, I can call a cab if you're busy or something. Or if you don't want to, I completely understand." I ramble.

He smiles and pulls me back towards the living room. "Like I'd make you take a cab, Miss New York." He jokes and throws his hand over his heart as if my lack of faith in him causes him pain.

The rest of the night is filled with laughter and gifts, and reluctant goodbye's as the kids started to doze off on the floor. Mom and Dad were the first to leave, claiming they were old and needed to rest. Alice, Tanya, and Kaylee were next, leaving me, Riley and Edward.

"By guys." I take turns hugging Rose and Em, promising to come visit them soon. Now would have been a good time to tell them about the tumor, but I decided earlier in the night that nobody needed to know. I feel guilty not telling them, but I refuse to bring down their Christmas more than I did this morning.

"So why don't you guys spend Christmas with Esme and Carlisle?" I ask as Edward drives Riley and I toward my motel.

"We do Christmas Eve with them; they go all out and shit." Riley comments from the backseat.

Edward rolls his eyes. "They like to spend Christmas… uh." He clears his throat. "Alone." Riley snickers from the back.

"Oh," I blush knowing exactly what Esme and Carlisle's ideas of _alone_ are.

"Yeah," Edward chuckles. "Remember that time-"

"Yes, Edward I remember that time." I cut him off knowing exactly what he's talking about.

"What time?" Riley asks.

"Edward and I had just started dating… let's see, that would make you about ten-"

"Age is just a number, baby." He jokes and rubs my head.

"Riley, stop hitting on my girl." Edward laughs, and stops the minute he realizes what he's said. He glances at me from the corner of his eye and I blush, my face stretching into a smile.

"Okay… so what happened?" Riley insists from the behind me.

"What?" Oh, Carlisle and Esme. "SO we walk in to his house to, uh- study," Edward snorts.

"We didn't do much of studying back then." I shush him and smack his arm playfully.

"I'm telling the story. Anyway, we go into the kitchen to get some cheese-puffs to power up for our _study_ session, and Carlisle has his pants around his ankles with your mom pressed up against the fridge." Edward and I burst out laughing while Riley looks horrified.

"The refrigerator? Dude," he whines. "I _eat_ out of that thing!" he shudders.

"Yep, their excuse was 'We thought we were _alone_.'" Edward drawls out.

By the time we get to my hotel room, I'm red in the face with tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard.

"Here we are." Edward shuts off the engine and opens my door for me. "I'll walk you to your room?"

"Yes, please."

"Aww," Riley coos. "How cute. They grow up so fast." He pretends to wipe a tear away.

"Thank you," I bump Edward's shoulder as we head through the lobby of Moose Lodge.

"For what?"

"Coming to get me earlier. I can't tell you fun that was." I smile. "I can't tell you how long it's been since I laughed that hard.

"No need to thank me." He puffs out his chest. "Just doing my job."

"Okay macho man." I joke. "Well, this is me." I nod reluctantly.

"So, I'll pick you up tomorrow? What time?"

"Um," I slide the key card into the slot and pull open the door, leaning against it. "I'll have to check flights, but can we plan on three-ish?"

"Absolutely. I'll be here." He smiles and kisses my cheek, lingering longer than usual, but still not long enough.

"Good night, Bella."

"Night, Edward."

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	7. Chapter 7

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**Thanks to everyone who took the time to review so far, I give you chapter 7!**

The taxi pulls up in front of the New York Medical building right on time. I hand the driver a wad of cash and step out into the cold air.

"Hi," I approach the front desk where a red-haired lady is eating her Panera dinner. "I'm here to see Doctor Gerandy. My name's Bella Swan."

She holds up her index finger in a 'wait a moment' gesture as she types something in her computer. "Okay Miss Swan, have a seat right over there." She points to a waiting room. "The Doctor will be with you shortly.

"Bella?" Someone taps on my shoulder.

"Victoria?" I pull her into a crushing hug. "What are you doing here?"

"Visiting my lady friend at work, if ya'll know what I mean." She winks. I don't but I nod and pretend that I do. "And you? I thought you were in Sporks for at least a week?"

"Yeah, plans changed." I shrug. "What are you gonna do."

"Hey, I gotta run." She glances at a wall clock. "Call me! We need to get together soon, I miss you." She squeezes me one last time and sprints out the door before I can ask her where she's going.

"Bella Swan?" a nurse in pink scrubs calls out through the waiting room. I shuffle over to her. "Are you Bella?"

"Yes I am."

"Great, right this way." She leads me down the hallway and stops in front of a wooden door labeled GERANDY. "Doctor Gerandy?" The nurse prompts and slides open the door. "Bella Swan is here to see you..." Doctor Gerandy comes into view and flings the door open, his face sunken in and gaunt.

"Yes, yes. Come in, Miss Swan, come quickly." Doc rushes out and wheels a desk chair in front of me. "Have a seat."

"Is everything... Okay?" I ask stupidly.

"Everything's wonderful, Miss Swan!" He claps. _I beg to differ_. "It seems there has been a slight mistake." He drawls out, his eyes shining.

"A mistake?"

"Yes, yes- a mistake with the x-ray machine we were given." He couldn't have told me this over the phone?

I sigh and feign interest. "What kind of...mistake with the machine?"

"Well, the oddest thing happened over the weekend. I had two perfectly healthy patients come in on two different days to get MRI scans, and both came back with identical results... identical to your own." He smiles.

"What?" I ask, thoroughly confused.

"It seems there is a problem with our new machine, Miss Swan."

"What does this mean for me?" I force myself not to let my anger leak through my voice. _Like I give a fuck their precious machine is broken!_

"We'd like to run another x-ray... on our old machine if you'll let us."

"And why would I need more confirmation of the inevitable?" I hiss, crossing my arms protectively in front of me.

"I don't think you understand, Miss Swan." He rests his hand on my shoulder comfortingly. "We have reason to believe that your... condition, was really just the makings of a faulty machine." He must pick up on my zero understanding of what he's saying because he readily elaborates. "I don't think you have a tumor at all, Miss Swan." He takes a seat on his desk and watches me carefully as his news sinks in.

_No tumor?_ But that means... "I'm not dying..." I whisper, more to myself than him.

"Please, Bella." He begs. "Let us run another scan."

"Okay," I nod and follow him blindly out of the room, my mind still wandering.

"Just take a seat here." Doc pats the faded leather chair under an outdated machine, similar to the one I was in last time. Was it really just for days ago? It feels like it's been years since I was here last. I slide into the seat and he pushes a button, the chair sliding roughly under the scanner.

Doc laughs at my scared expression as I grip the sides of the chair. "Now you see why were given a new machine!" He yells over the grinding noise. All I can do is clench my teeth to keep them from rattling out from the vibrations, and nod in understanding. "It may take a bit longer for this machine than the one we used last time, so hold still and try not to panic." He hits a red button by my head and rushes out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

I focus on evening out my breathing as the machine whirls to life and begins to spin around my head. I distract myself from the buzzing noise and blinking lights by thinking back on the past few days. Although things could've gone a bit smoother, I can't complain about the outcome. I close my eyes and think back to Edward's smiling face as he drove me to the airport earlier.

"_You'll be back?" He prompts anxiously as we pull up to the drop off area of Port Angeles airport._

"_As soon as I can." I lie, knowing I'll probably never make it back. I sniffle and roughly rub away my years as he pulls my luggage out of the car. I hope my eyes aren't red- I don't want to have to explain why I'm so upset. Because I'll never get to see you again._

"_Well, here you are." He props my luggage next to me on the sidewalk and closes the trunk on the Volvo. He grabs my hand and squeezes it softly. "Bella," he looks me in the eye, his voice thick with emotion. "I..." He trails off and looks down at his shoes. "I'm really glad you came." He smiles apologetically, and I know immediately that wasn't what he was going to say. What was he gonna say?_

_I smile and wrap my arms around his neck, snuggling into his warmth. "Me too." I feel him smile against my head. "I missed you so much... Edward," I pull back to look him in the eyes. "I can't..." He wipes away a tear I didn't know was falling. "I need you Edward. I-"_

"_Shhhhh," he whispers against my head. "I know, I know exactly what you mean." He chuckles. "I've waited so long to have you in my arms again... It feels so surreal."_

"_Excuse me, sir?" A large man in a police uniform interrupts us and we reluctantly pull apart. "This is drop-off only." He motions to the Volvo parked by the curb. "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to move- now."_

_Edward nods. "Will do." He turns back to me. "Call when your plane lands?"_

_I nod. He's about to pull away when I grab his sleeve, stopping him. "Edward," I lean up close to him until put faces are just inches apart. "I'm sorry; this isn't fair to you... But I need it."_

"_What do you-" I cut him off by pressing my lips gently against his. He tenses and I pull away, embarrassed and horrified what I just did._

"_I'm sorry," I stutter out. "That was-"_

"_Stop," he whispers against my lips and kisses me chastely. "Bells-" he mumbles and deepens the kiss, gently sliding his tongue against my lips. I readily part my moth, granting him access._

"_This is your last warning." A gruff voice blurts out and taps Edward on the shoulder. The rent-a-cop looking guy is glaring at us with his arms crossed. "You need to move your car, sir." Edward ignores him and stares at me with a smile on his face. His eyes are shining with... love? No, it can't be._

"_I should go," I whisper, effectively bursting our private moment. He nods reluctantly and kisses me one last time._

"_You should, you don't want to miss your flight." He pulls back until only our hands are connected._

"_Edward," I whisper, before I can stop myself. "I-" It's now or never Swan. "I love you." His blissful smile fades and is replaced with a look of shock. "I never stopped." I tell him truthfully. "I've thought about you- about what I did to us- every day since I left. I know you don't feel the same, how could you?" I try not to sound depressed. "But I needed to say it. You don't owe me anything, and I know I probably just ruined any chance at a friendship with you- just please, don't hate me." His face is unreadable as he drops my hands. "I'm sorry." I whisper and take off toward the airport entrance, dragging my suitcase behind me._

_I chance a look back and my heart nearly breaks. He's standing in the same spot, watching me as I run away from him again. I push down the feelings of déjà vu and regret as I push through the glass doors and make my way toward check-in._

There's a beeping noise that doesn't fit my scenario, and I'm drawn out of my day dream by a pinch to my shoulder. I jump and bang my head on something hard. "Careful there," a familiar voice chuckles. My eyes snap open when I start moving and everything comes flooding back. "Have a nice nap?" Doctor Gerandy smiles and pats my cheek. "Don't know how you could sleep with all the racket this machine makes, but to each her own!"

"So..." I prompt as he switches of the machine.

"We just need to be patient as the computers process everything..." He trails off and heads toward the exit, motioning for me to follow. He leads me back to his office and I retake my seat on the rolling desk chair. "Let me go check on those," he exits and shuts the door behind him, leaving me to my rapidly changing thoughts.

_What if it's a false alarm and the first x-rays were right? What of it's not? _My hand reaches unconsciously for my purse and I dig around for the folded x-ray picture. I'm confused when my hands come out empty.

_They were right there!_ I convince myself it just got shuffled to the bottom, and start digging deeper and pulling stuff out. "Come on." I mumble as I open up my zip-compartments. _Shit, where are you?_

Doctor Gerandy walks in before I get the chance to truly panic and sits behind his desk. His face is passive as he inspects the x-ray, holding it up to the light. He hums and sets them on the desk, just out of my sight. He pulls off his glasses and rubs his eyes tiredly. "Well..." He trails off and beams. "Congratulations, Miss Swan, your brain is fully functional." He hands me the new x-rays and leans back in his seat.

I state at them in amazement, my hand shaking as I hold it up in front of the florescent lights.

"It looks like we'll need to invest in a new machine." Gerandy jokes, not noticing my inner turmoil. "Bella?" He asks after a long pause. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I snap myself out of my funk. "I just... I guess it's hard to accept. I don't know what to think."

"Well, I know I'd be pretty psyched if I was you." He smiles worriedly.

"No! I am, I am!" I sigh. "I was just so sure that this was it... I quit my job." I blurt out.

"I'm sure if you explain they won't hesitate to rehire you."

I snort remembering my very colorful choice of resignation words I shouted at Bolton over the phone before I left fire Forks. "I doubt that."

"Well, there are other jobs out there." He tells me optimistically. "I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding something."

"I'll lose the apartment for sure," I ignore him. "I don't know how I'm going to pay for these x-rays. I wasted thousands of dollars in hotel and airfare in Forks that I'll probably be in debt for the next twenty years of my life." I think my head against the desk. "I ruined my only chances with the man I love."

"Well I don't know what to tell you about everything else, but there's no way I'm going to make you pay for these scans." He tells me firmly. "It was my mistake and I intend to take full responsibility for it."

"Thank you." I manage a weak smile. He nods and slides his glasses back up his nose.

"As for the guy," he adds. "He'd be a damn fool not to love you."

"You're too sweet." I blush and put my things back in my purse. "I'm sure you have things to do, I'll get out of your hair." He smiles politely and holds the door open for me.

"Really though," he stops me from going any further. "I'll take care of the payments." He winks and shuts his door. I breathe a sigh of resignation and slowly make my way down the hallway, mentally planning my next actions.

There's no way I'll be able to afford living on New York anymore, and to be quite honest, I'm not sure if I want to stay here.

I bump into something hard and fly back, falling on my ass. "Ow," I mumble to myself as I regain my bearings. Then it occurs to me that I probably walked into _someone_, and I blush. "I'm so sorry! I was distracted and I wasn't looking where I was going and-" I stop in my tracks as I finally see the man I plowed into. I swear my heart stops as his piercing green eyes cut into mine.

"Edward?"

**Comments? Thoughts?**


	8. Chapter 8

**As always, I own nothing related to Twilight… I do own a poster though, if that counts for anything. **

**Be sure to check out the banner for this story on my profile page!**

**Thanks to everyone who took the time to review so far, I give you chapter 8-**

"Edward," I stutter out, still reeling. "What are doing here? How did you know where to find me?" He stays silent, just watching me. "Not that I'm not happy to see you- I'm elated- but how..." My eyes travel down his body to the folded piece of paper in his shaking hand. "What is that?" I ask, praying it's not what I think it is. "Edward."

"Imagine my surprise when I got the shock of your...revelation outside the airport- enough to think clearly at least. So I happen to glance down at the passenger's side floor to find a neatly folded little paper." He holds up his hand. "Of course, being who I am, I got curious and decided to take a peek."

"It's not… I can-"

"I'm a doctor, Bella. I know what this is!" He shakes the hand holding the x-ray. He must see the horrified look on my face because he quickly drops it and pulps me into his arms. "Please, baby." He cries, "Tell me it's not real." he begs.

"Bella," Doctor Gerandy approaches us. "Oh, hello." He greets Edward warily. "You forgot your new scan, dear." He hands me the x-ray and eyes Edward as he shuffled back to his office.

"Here." I hand it to Edward.

He wipes his eyes and reluctantly takes them from me. His eyes slowly widen as they dance around the paper. "Bella?" His eyes are hopeful as they beg for an explanation.

"You weren't supposed to find out about any of this." He frowns, but I ignore it. "I got the call yesterday from doctor Gerandy. He told me he needed me to come down to the office as soon as I could... That some things had come up."

"That's why you were so distant at Em and Rose's yesterday."

I nod. "So I came down and they ran another scan on the old machine. They got suspicious when three perfectly healthy patients who had scans on the new machine suddenly had tumors."

I watch as his eyes light up in understanding. "There was something wrong with the machine." He asks, and I nod. "You're okay?" He asks again and smiles tightly, and I hope that maybe he forgot about my three word exclamation.

"I can't believe you came." I throw myself at him.

"I learned my lesson the first time." He tells me simply and brushes a stand of hair away from my face, gently cupping my cheek. "I wasn't about to let you get away again." He pulls my face up to his and taps his lips with my own. He's starts to pull back, but I latch onto him, keeping him pressed against me and deepening the kiss.

"Bella," he whispers my name like a prayer and returns the kiss with equal fervor. By the time he moves to trail hot kisses down my neck, I'm panting and out of breath, already feeling the effect he's always managed to have on me. I pull his face back to mine, but he stops me by resting his forehead in my own. "We need to stop before I take you right here." He whispers, his voice significantly deeper and his eyes black with lust. I shudder at the primal look in his eye and focus on slowing my breath rather than the thought of him doing naughty things to me.

"Come home with me?" I plead all traces of seduction gone from my voice. _Please don't leave me_.

"I'd go anywhere for you." The sincerity in his voice is enough to quell my fear. We run down the hall like a couple of teenagers ion their first date and call a cab from the pick-up area of the hospital.

"So that's why you came back to Forks?" Edward asks. "Because you thought..."

"I was going to die?" I finish for him. "Honestly, yes. I know it's kind of a shitty thing that _that's_ what it took for me to realize I needed to fix things, but it made me understand that life isn't worth living in regret. I guess it was a blessing in disguise."

He nods as he watches the city pass by from the taxi window. "Did you mean it?" He asks agree a moment of silence.

"Mean what?" I feign confusion even though I know exactly what he's talking about.

"That you love me? Or was that just the adrenaline speaking."

I tug on his sleeve until he looks me in the eye. "I meant every word."

He cups my face and gives me a chaste kiss, but stays silent.

"This the place?" The driver asks as he pulls up to my building.

"Yes, thank you." I check the meter and hand him cash, ignoring Edward's grumbles of protest.

"Hush," I smack him playfully. And lead him up the steps of the apartment complex. "Don't expect too much." I warm him when we get in the elevator.

"I'm sure it's perfect." He assures me. The elevators ding open, and I almost walk straight into Jenks.

"Jenks, what are you doing up so late? Where you headed?" I ask, concerned. I glance at my watch. Eleven p.m., shouldn't he be asleep?

"Wish I could stay and chat, love, but my grandbaby's having her baby!" He squeaks in excitement and hobbles down the hallway as fast as his cave allows. "Good to have you back," he calls over his shoulder. "It got a little lonely without you." I laugh and dig my keys out of my bag, opening the door to let Edward in.

"So this is it." I flick on the light and mentally pat myself on the back for cleaning up a bit before leaving for the hospital. I throw off my shoes and lay my coat next to Edward's on the couch.

"It's beautiful." He tells me, and I'm surprised it's not at all sarcastic.

"Thanks." I blush. "It's great for me, I guess." Something catches his attention across the room, so he goes over to inspect it. I pale as he runs his finger over the picture of me and him from our Disneyland trip after graduation I have hanging on the wall.

"I love this picture." He divulges and sends me an impish grin. "I have the same one on my dresser ay the house." I smile. _He has one too_.

"I remember that trip like it was yesterday." I tell him, despite the clichéd circumstances.

"It was fun." He laughs. "Remember the Indiana Jones ride? You almost peed your pants when the ball rolled over us."

"Hey," I whine. "At least I didn't run away when Mickey Mouse tried to hug me."

"I was perfectly justified on that." He defends playfully. "It's creepy not knowing who's under there." I laugh and lean up against him.

He leans in and wraps his arms around my waist, squeezing me gently. "You're perfect, you know that?"

I shake my head. "No I'm not."

"You are to me." He whispers and kisses me passionately. "Don't ever leave me again." He ppleads and presses himself against me, backing us up against the wall.

"Never," I promise. "You're stuck with me." He smiles against my lips and pushes me harder against the wall, deepening our kiss. I feel something hard pressing against my stomach and gasp when I realize what it is.

"Can you feel what you do to me?" He whispers on my neck and sucks on it lightly.

"Edward," I moan at the pleasure of him all over me. "Please." I beg.

"What do you want, baby?"

"You, I want you."

He pulls back and looks me in the eye. "Are you sure we're ready? I'm not gonna go away. I just got you back- we're going to make this work."

"I'm positive. Please Edward." He nods and lifts me up, bridal style, and wanders around until he finds the bedroom. He lays me gently on the bed and slips off my sweater. I unhook my bra and he groans, his hands reaching out to rub my boobs. I unbutton his shirt and his jeans, and he stand sup to slip them off.

Edward's hands go to my thighs and he rubs soothing circles along the inside as he inches his lips closer to mine. "Are you okay?" he whispers. His eyes are clouded over in lust and his breathing is coming out in sharp bursts. I hum in response and he kisses me again. He unzips my jeans and pulls them down, torturously slow, throwing them off to the side. "Bella," he moans when he realizes I'm not wearing any underwear. "You must be trying to kill me woman." He mutters and pulls down his boxers.

"Red undies? Very festive." I tease as he leans over on top of me, nothing in between us.

I feel him line himself up at my entrance and slowly push in. I gasp in pleasure and moan as he slides his length into me. He stops about half way and pulls back out. I moan at the loss and he smirks against my lips. "Please Edward," I moan, needing some form of release.

He pushes in again, a bit quicker this time, and doesn't stop until he's fully sheathed. He groans in pleasure and starts to thrust in and out. I pull away from his lips and try to catch my breath. _It feels so good._

He rests his head on my shoulder and pants against my neck. "Faster baby," I moan.

He obliges and thrusts in and out at a more rapid pace. He pulls back just enough so that only the head is left inside and then pushes back in roughly. I'm moaning so loud, I'm surprised none of the staff has come barging in.

He starts kissing me again and brings his hand down to my clit. He teases it with his finger and starts rubbing it furiously. "I'm close baby," he pants out.

"Me too," I try to say, but I'm sure it comes out as some strangled noise of pleasure. I can feel the tightening coil in my stomach and know that I'm close.

"Come with me Bella," he moans near my ear. His words send me over the edge. I shudder and feel him stiffen on top of me. I literally see stars as my muscles relax and I turn to goo underneath him.

He pulls out and lays his full upper body weight on top of me, placing light kisses on my neck. We're both breathing heavily and the reality of what just happened really hits me.

"I love you," I whisper against his chest and kiss the spot right above his rapidly beating heart.

"I know," he kisses my head and snuggles up beside me, pulling the bed covers over our bodies.

**Comments? Thoughts?**

**Epilogue is up next… I'll try to have it up ASAP, but the family is coming over for New Years, and you know how that goes *shrugs*.**

**Thanks for reading, and be sure to give me some feedback before you go :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Be sure to check out the banner for this story on my profile page! So, here it is! The epilogue :) I hope it lives up to your expectations…**

**I do not own Twilight… But then again, you probably already figures that out.**

"Bella," Edward whines and tugs on my sleeve. "Come on! We're going to miss it!"

"Edward! We won't miss it, I promise." I yell over the noise of the crowd as he drags me through the throngs of people. "Edward, this is crazy!" he stops suddenly and I ram into his back. He turns back to me and smiles, his eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store.

"Right here." He tells me excitedly. "Perfect view." He points up to the flagpole with the giant glowing ball on top. "Have I ever told you how much I've wanted to see this in real life before?"

I roll my eyes, but can't help but mirror his smile. _He looks so adorable_. "At least twenty times on the way over here." I mock. He glares at me playfully and throws his arm around my waist. I smile and snuggle deeper into his chest, trying to ignore the thousands of people screaming and bumping into us. "Is It everything you imagined and more?" I tease. He nods and leans down to kiss me, but I pull away. "You have to wait." I tell him seriously. "It's bad luck to kiss before the New Year."

"You lie." He puts at me.

"Hey," I hold my hands up in mock surrender. "If you want a year of bad luck, then by all means." I make a kissy face. "Pucker up."

He pulls me out of the way of being mowed over by a group of gangly boys running through the crowd and hugs me to his chest. "Have I told you how beautiful you are lately?" he asks seriously, his eyes scorching into mine. I blush and hide my face in his neck.

Truth is, he has. Every day since _that_ night he showed up in New York. He's been staying in my apartment for the past five days, and in that time we've been able to get to know each other again. So much has changed since I… in the years I was gone. We hadn't had sex again since that night, but we didn't have to. We both agreed to take things slow, since neither of us wanted to risk losing each other again. We have yet to label our relationship status, but that's fine by me. Even in just the past few days, he's become more to me than any label can explain.

"You okay?" Edward mumbles against my hair. "You seem to be off in another world."

I nod and smile, pulling back to look up at him. "Just thinking."

"About what?" he rocks us slightly side to side and kisses my forehead.

"You. Us."

"What about _us_?" he teases and moves to trail kisses down my neck. He pulls back and looks at me seriously, all traces of teasing gone. I step back, confused at his sudden change in demeanor. "Bella," he runs his hands down my hips and grabs my hands. "I- I want you to move to Forks with me." He must see my shocked expression because he smiles apologetically and explains. "I meant to so this a bit more smoothly, maybe when we weren't being shoved by thousands of people in the middle of Times Square," as if to prove his point, someone smacks into him from behind and shoves him closer to me. "But then again, nothing about us has ever really gone to plan, has it?" he doesn't wait for a response. "Bella I can't be away from you anymore, not now that I just got you back." He tells me sincerely. I can feel tears forming in my eyes and he moves to wipe them away. "Whether we stay here or go back to Forks… I just figured, I have a house and our family is there- but if you want to stay here that's fine too, I can get an apartment or something until we're-" I effectively cut him off by pressing my lips against his. He's still for a moment before starting to respond. He moans and pulls me closer to him, sliding his tongue along my lips, begging for entrance. I eagerly grant him access and groan in pleasure as his tongue meets my own.

He's the first to pull back. "I thought kissing before the New Year was bad luck?" he teases, his eyes lightening in mirth.

I shrug, "Eh, I changed my mind."

"So…"he trails off, nervously running his fingers through his hair.

"I don't want to stay here." I tell him truthfully. He breathes a sigh in relief and hugs me close to him. "There's nothing for me here, but there… Being back made me realize how much I've missed." I think back and grin as I realize I'll be able to keep my promise to Emma. "I can get an apartment or condo… and we can see how things go." I tell him reluctantly.

"Or," he cuts in, "You could just… stay with me." My eyes widen and he chuckles. "The house is big," he justifies. "You could have your own room. And besides, Tanya and Kaylee are living with me for the time being… so it wouldn't really be like we were _living together_ living together."

"We'd just be sharing the same house?" I tease and he blushes. "Then you have to let me pay rent." I tell him.

"No." he shakes his head firmly.

"Yes," I cross my arms. "I'm not budging on this."

"You're not paying rent."

"Yes, I am." I argue.

"No."

"Yes!"

"No!" he raises his voice to be heard over the sudden screams and hollers of the people around us. I glance around Edward and my eyes light up.

"Edward! Look!" I spin him around so he can see the ball slowly making its descent down the pole. He laughs and tucks me under his side, looking onto the scene in amazement. I'd seen the ball drop for the past three years, and chose to watch Edward's face instead.

His green eyes are practically gleaming in excitement and his signature crooked smile seems to be permanently stuck on his face. "It's amazing." He tells me in excitement, never taking his eyes off the scene on front of him.

I remember the first time Jessica and Mike dragged me down here to see the ball drop. It was only a few days after I had moved to New York, and being out at midnight with hundreds of thousands of other people was the last thing I wanted to be doing. I let them drag me though, and the whole time I remember thinking how much better it was in reality than on the flat-screen at home. I also remember wishing Edward was there to see it with me.

I snap back to reality as people begin to count down. I smile as Edward's grip on me tightens. He turns to look at me, his smile growing.

"Three! Two!"

Edward brings his lips so they're just barely touching mine. "I love you." He mumbles and lifts me up for our kiss. I'm shocked. _He loves me!_ I return his kiss as people scream and shout 'Happy New Year' and '2012' and exchange kisses for luck in the New Year. It all fades away as Edward's kiss becomes deeper and more passionate.

"I love you so much, Bella." He whispers in my ear as we catch our breath. "So much." I can't help the tears that stream down my face as I kiss is face, every inch I can reach.

"I love you," I tell him. He wipes my tears away. "Happy tears." He smiles and leans down for another kiss, gently setting me back on my feet. He wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me to him as we watch people dance around in the middle of Times Square. The screen below the ball is flashing with '2012' as fireworks are shot off into the air.

"Is it everything you thought it would be?" I ask again, my tone light and teasing.

His eyes flash to mine holding so much love; it makes my heart stutter in my chest. "And so much more." He pushes my hair out of my face. "You made it so much more."

"Don't ever let go," I snuggle into his chest and watch the firework show.

I feel him smile against my head. "Never again, love."

**So, what do you think? Thanks for sticking with me through this… me and my crazy ideas! I want to have a special thanks for everyone who took time to review, you guys honestly rock- I have the attention span of a squirrel, and tend not to want to finish the things I start. You're guys' review really pushed me on the right track :)**


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